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Putting yourself out there

BS9New Contributor

Putting yourself out there

Hi, I am an incredibly shy person and have never taken steps to tell someone how much I care about them and hope for a relationship. Well that changed two weeks ago when I told the guy that I have been hanging out with now for over year that I cared about him a lot.... He politely said thank you and that he loves spending time with me but he's decided to not be in a relationship with anyone. Now, the thing is for this past year we have nearly loved in each other's pockets. We have spent so much time together that people around us have questioned whether or not we were together. I even thought he had feelings....but now I just feel like I was crazy. Some of you may say that I just need to walk away and you are probably right but I am grieving so much right now and I'm sure my friends are sick of me talking about it. I just wanted someone who thought like me, enjoyed the same things as me etc just saw me and willing to give it a go. Thanks for reading my rant. It's a bit hard right now.

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In response to: Putting yourself out there

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

@tyme this is the first time I've relapsed while dating him. I was very guarded with my mental health issues and then it all came unravelling 4 weeks ago.

@MJG017 I agree with all that you have said.

Most of my friends thought he was good for me, based on what I told them, up until about a week ago.

My closest people have started to tell me that he's not good for me. As my grand-aunt put it "Why can't you just find someone normal?"

I hate that word 'normal', nothing and no one is truly 'normal'. It's all relative, on a spectrum.

I think what she was trying to allude to, is that he is not good for me because we are both anxious and feed off each others' anxiety.

My gut is that this relationship, or rather, his attitude towards it, is not salvageable. It could work with some intense couples' counselling. However, I am here to focus on my recovery, and I will continue to try to think of him as little as possible because doing so only leads to unhealthy rumination.

In response to: Putting yourself out there

PeppyPattiSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

Dearest @Spirit_Healer

I'm sending you lots of care and gentle love to you.

Say anything that you need. We are right here for you

Xx

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

Thanks for the listening ear, @PeppyPatti . I don't have much more to say at this stage.

@MJG017 @tyme

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

tymeModerator

Re: Putting yourself out there

I'm sorry to hear @Spirit_Healer,

At the same time, I wondering what your aunt meant by finding someone more 'normal'?

I wonder what's going through his mind?

Please look after yourself at this time. And yes, focus on your own recovery.

I'm sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

tymeModerator

Re: Putting yourself out there

Hey @Spirit_Healer ,

How are you going? Are you still at PARC?

Thinking about you.

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

@tyme I have concluded that the ghosting he has done suggests that he's not the person for me.

I'm getting discharged today! And into my own place, away from my parents. It all happened in the last four days.

@MJG017 @PeppyPatti @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Glisten

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

Ohh sending you lots of tender hugs my friend 🧡 @Spirit_Healer and sitting with you 💕

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

Spirit_HealerSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

Thanks @Shaz51 . I miss you and the SANE community.

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

GlistenSenior Contributor

Re: Putting yourself out there

@Spirit_Healer your own place❣️ Wonderful news 🫂Hugs

Definitely NOT 🚫 the person for you

In response to: Re: Putting yourself out there

tymeModerator

Re: Putting yourself out there

Hey @Spirit_Healer , Is this the first time you have lived away from them?

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