Seeking help for suicidal thoughts.

Hi Steamed Toast

Lola here, one of the moderators.

So good to hear form you this morning and I am pleased to hear that you have a plan for today....ie calling the CAT team if you need to.

take care

lola

Thank you so much my wonderful friends. It means the world to be able to speak my thoughts here. This morning I called the CAT team and they are sending someone out to me to evaluate/come up with a safety plan this afternoon. I got the impression from talking to them that they might not have been too impressed with my psych and her handling of my recent thoughts, as well as my ADs and whether they are right for me.

I've been keeping busy in the meantime with some woodworking with my dad. I ended up telling him that I had been in touch with CATT but not giving more details. As a former paramedic he will understand enough from what I told him, but he is also respecting my privacy and not pushing me to talk. I feel he will keep me safe until the next step happens, whatever that may be. Xx

Hi all. Just an update on today. The CAT team ended up coming to my house today. They were great to talk to, but unfortunately I hadn't had a chance to tell my mum they were coming. Understandably she didn't take it well. She ended up leaving the house and confronting me after they had left.

She has a lot of hurt that I haven't opened up to her or accepted her help and am instead reaching out to other people who I don't know. Under the sadness I could also feel some anger from her. She has not spoken to me since we spoke it out after they had left.

I almost felt like I had a little victory speaking to the CAT team, but now I feel that has been taken away. The reason I didnt want to tell my family was to avoid this kind of hurt, but I have caused it regardless. I feel devastated. I wish I had found a way to do this without them finding out.

CAT team is going to be monitoring me from home over the next few days to avoid hospitalisation and are going to be talking directly to my GP in the morning before I have an appointment with him around lunch. Looks like a long road ahead.

Thank you friends for listening to me. X

Thank you @Appleblossom. I really hope for the same. I think right now I am exhausted physically and emotionally so am going to try and sleep it off and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day ❤️

Feeling pretty tired and sad this morning. Anyone have some positive stories to tell me to cheer me up?

Hi @Faith-and-Hope I would love that. I was meant to be on a European holiday as we speak but had to cancel due to all the things that have happened over the last couple of months. I'd love to live it through you though! I hope you are having a great time. I would love to join your conversation ❤