Seeking help for suicidal thoughts.

I used to love being in workshops learning about practical things. Are you working on anything special @SteamedToast

Hi SteamedToast

I hope today is a better day. I realise that you are overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, depression and anxiety and it's incredibly hard to cope. I'm also going through a terrible time and each hour of the day is a challenge but I've decided to keep going as best I can. No one wants to live a life of misery so we've got to try and get ourselves "back on track" ... easier said than done but just keep trying and hope that today is better than yesterday. If you feel depressed that's okay but don't let it cripple you. Get up and do something. I read that you were helping your father which is good. Anything to get the negative thoughts out of your head. Sometimes I'm sitting with others pretending to be okay and my head is full of sadness and loss but I force myself to stay with them as long as I can because it's better than "my own company" !!! I read your comments about your mother being upset with you and I'd like to ask you to try and understand how your mother is feeling. I'm a mother and my adult children are everything to me. When my son suffered depression I felt a failure. I couldn't help him. He drank too much, behaved badly and was also in danger of taking his own life. As his mother I was heart broken. It's a mothers responsibility to protect and nurture her children even when they are adults. We feel protective. Your mother might feel that she has failed you. I don't know your family situation so I might be completely wrong but it sounds like your family has gone through a pretty rough time.

Good luck

Remember take one hour at a time.

Don't expect too much from yourself.

Deal with what you can when you can..

Hi @Appleblossom

I am really enjoying the time in the workshop at the moment. I am only just learning woodworking, but I am really enjoying it. I will post some pictures a little later - I have just finished making a tea box which is a little Japanese in style, and now I am working on a jewellery box and a "misc" box. I find it to be a really nice distraction, and a productive one too! I hope you are doing well.

Hi @Becky38

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I feel I relate to a lot of what you have just said.

I definitely feel where my mums pain is coming from. I am working through a lot of guilt with my psych at the moment to try and address this. I am finding it really difficult living with my parents again after living independently for so long. I don't like feeling like a burden, even though I know that they love being able to support and care for me when I am vulnerable and they wouldn't complain to anyone about me being back. I think my mum would be furiously nodding along to everything you have just said about your own experience as a mother with adult children suffering from MI. Her heart bleeds for me. I wish it didn't though - I understand why it does, but I only wish her happiness and it devastates me that my own MI impacts on other people. My wish for my mum is that she also seeks help so she can manage her feelings. I did ask this of her when we were speaking about it all the other night, so I can only hope that she does reach out for support too.

I hope things have started to look up for both you and your son. As we both know these things take time, but I always try to find at least one thing each day that I am grateful for. Today I am grateful for finding this support group and being able to have such open and honest conversations without judgement. Thank you again for sharing with me. X