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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde *pulls hug tighter* oh hun, that is a very big week. Tis such a heavy sorrow to grieve for what might've been.

Here for you my dear, I'll keep you close 🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

for the lives they could have had...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde the phrase that has popped into my head is that, 'the world has been robbed of joy'. But then I thought.... well not just the world... but you. You were robbed of joy. And that sits heavy in my heart.

"Grief is love with no place to go."

🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

For all the ones I've lost before

For all the tears I've cried

For all the pain that's in my heart

To be thankful I'm alive...

I was robbed of a lot of things, not just them, a childhood, parents, life...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Beautiful words @avant-garde - I adore poetry. Even started up a poetry thread (which I have apparently neglected a bit ahaha). But feel free to share there if you like.

You really were darlin. Robbed and then told to be grateful for the trauma left in love's absence. Well... there's love a-plenty for you here. Boundless, open, freely given 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

*clings tightly to @Jynx crying violently*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde *squeeze you and softly strokes hair*

I wish I could send audio... I'd sing you a lullaby.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

It's hard that people's judgement and denial prevent me from sharing my grief in person... they are just so dismissive and judgemental that I find it too hard to even try anymore

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde ugh that is so hard hun. Reminds me of this lil comic actually

I'm sorry you've had to build such thick walls around your heart.

I'll be wrapping up soon hun, wanna come sit in the pillow castle with me till then?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I let my walls down with you

*camps out in plushie village with Jynx*

Plushies will keep me company

Did you know that there is a Pokemon called Jynx? It's ugly though and gives me the creeps

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