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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I don't think so... but I do think I need to be more careful with him and how he treats me... he'll likely become my elder at the end of the year...

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Re: Running

@Jynx?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde flying solo tonight so taking a bit longer than usual!!

Oh boy... that is worrisome! Like, is this another situation where you're finding you have to bite your tongue?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx ah that makes sense

And no I think it's worse than me biting my tongue, it's me being more inclined to revert to submissive coping strategies

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde I would definitely be keen to put aside more time for this conversation next time I am on, if you would like? I am sorry I haven't been able to tonight, but please know it is important to me, YOU are important to me, and I think it would be very worth us unpacking it a bit more.

For now, I think I must say goodnight! Aww I wanted to frolic!! Next time 😉🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx I would like that, I do want to consider this more

I wanted to build a pillow castle

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@avant-garde pillow castle and unpacking, on our list!! Oh that first one sounds very fun, hehehe can't wait 😊💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@rav3n?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

hiiiii! how's your Friday going? @avant-garde

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@rav3n doing my best to breathe

Church camp is stressing me out, it's 3 very strong triggers

- no way out

- Christians/church

- alcohol is permitted

I'm scared

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