FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

1,441 - 1,450 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

You notice me, I just needed someone to notice me

*keeps crying and shaking in the dark corner*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I kept reaching out @Jynx for days I kept posting and nobody noticed me

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde sounds like it is meaningful to you to feel noticed hun. I get that sometimes, like this itch in my bones that makes me crave someone noticing, checking in on me.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Like

  • I see you
  • I validate you
  • You matter to me
  • Your voice and feelings matter
  • I'm sorry it's hard
  • I'm glad you're happy
  • You're not alone in this

Can I get a hug now please?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde 🫂🫂

Course hun 😊

Those are all super important things for us to get, I agree. And for those of us who didn't get enough (or perhaps any) of those things as kids, it can feel like a craving hey.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Why weren't you around this week? were you unwell? I was praying regardless

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Aww tyty @avant-garde

I had a hectic week 😵 had to take one of my partners in for emergency surgery! They are okay and will make a full recovery, but I had to take the time to rest and let myself process after the 30 or so hours of enduring various hospital sensory nightmares, and just providing them with some company and aftercare 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Oh hospitals are extreme sensory overload! I completely get you on that. I find bone conduction headphones great in those situations, you can have calming music and still hear what's important.

I'm glad your partner is going to be ok

We missed you on here too, just saying

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde oooh they look really cool! I definitely needed my noise cancelling headphones a few times!! It's amazing just how cranky it makes me. Wish hospitals had sensory rooms for ND folks!!

Aww I know, it's been so sweet logging on and seeing a bunch of messages 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Can we talk through this week now?

1,441 - 1,450 of 3,558