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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

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In response to: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde get to you? Like get round to you, or like tag you first?

Also, can respond properly to convo from last night or can save it for another time, up to you?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh @Jynx it wasn't a negative thing, I know you go through your notifications in order and I was busy with chiro so I decided to wait knowing that you would reply by the time I had finished

Hi @tyme I've missed our hymn chats

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Oh gotcha @avant-garde hehe

How was chiro?

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

I had a treatment review today and because they're students they have a supervisor. I got to share my concerns about the student I had the past 2 times and how she actually made my back worse and caused tightening of the muscles that impact my lower back and glutes. The girl today was helpful and I'm in less pain now and have been given homework to relax my back muscles.

I also want to continue the conversation from yesterday if that's ok...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Goodness me I genuinely thought I replied to this... @avant-garde dunno what happened there, lemme try n remember what I wrote...

Glad your session was helpful hun, and that there is that extra accountability to ensure your body is getting looked after!

We absolutely can, but the caveat is that I am currently moderating the webinar and do finish at 8pm. We can do what we can though!

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx maybe we leave it for tomorrow then?

My inner child is wanting attention and I want to tell you about the latest church "opinion" which I find incredibly stupid and funny just because I don't particularly care

*tugs on Jynx's sleeve and reaches up*

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Of course @avant-garde 😊

*sits, sipping tea, gives you hug with other arm*

Tea cos... you're gonna spill some tea... and I can then do a spit take if it's appropriate hehe

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I met up with a friend of mine yesterday from church, she's older than me and is also in the "doesn't fit" realm.

She asked me about playing cards and I mentioned that I like going to this LGBTQ+ games store.

Oh my gosh the look on her face like "you're supporting THEM" and I throw it back and ask/tell her "well Jesus hung out with the lepers..." (not that I see the community as that), further saying that I may not agree with it but I accept it. And then I mentioned that I have very dear friends (including you) that are that way inclined and God loves them too. How are we meant to reach and witness if we avoid them? You can't

She promptly changed the subject.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde yesssss you get BIG SNAPS for that!!! There's no snapping emoji tho so clapping will do

👏👏👏

Aww yay I am an example!! Take that, closed-minded individual!! Hahaha

Ach you are so good, well done for standing up for your values!! Gotta have gumption for that 😉

*Wraps you up in squishy goodbye hug*

Night night!! Sleep tight! Hope to catch you tomorrow night 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme can I talk to you about something?

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