FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Running

"Behind every strong person is a story that gave them no choice"

My life is all about a lack of choice.

I'm alive because death would've outed him, it would have sealed his fate in prison.

TW: cultic, rape, trafficking, torture

I'm the daughter of a Satanist...

One trained to breed...

One pregnant at 6 years old...

One prostituted to whoever could afford her...

The girl her dad didn't want...

One men hired to have fun with...

One men experimented with...

One who was tortured for speaking up...

One trained for the sole purpose to please her buyer...

Regardless of age...

Still though...

One who never stayed silent...

One who broke free... twice...

One who rose up...

One who seeks to prove them wrong...

One who has been running for 15 years...

One who just needs to feel heard...

One who went through hell and survived...

That this Phoenix can rise...

She will not be burned...

She's proven that...

I have proven that...

I'm 35 and 90% of those I've been in prolonged abusive situations insufficient evidence for prosecution

A system that protects the abuser more than the survivor

And yet I still try

I don't try for me, I try for the ones after me, the ones like me, that they will see their justice

But for now I run...

From a dad that wants me silenced...

From the nightmares that plague my sleep...

From the memories that invade my mind...

From the choices made for me...

Didn't expect that to come out as poetic as it did

3558 replies

991 - 1,000 of 3,558

In response to: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx my unit yes

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde gladness. Home is good.

You find music helpful to keep you tethered? Or you could tell me about what you might do tomorrow?

Got about halfa left just so you know, don't want my departure to be abrupt for you 💜

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

I have church tomorrow, I don't hate church, I find it frustrating but I don't hate it. We have communion tomorrow, means more people, but also more people who I get along with. I won't wear a dress, I'll wear my purple butterfly shirt, people comment on that shirt but I just like that it's purple.

We have a church meeting tomorrow too.

Then I get to go over to my elders house and talk through how I'm going and any theological issues I'm butting heads with.

Then another church service

Then home.

I find hymns help keep me tethered, @tyme and I talk hymns. My first go to hymn is typically 'be thou my vision'

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@avant-garde a super busy day, but I hope it's a fulfilling one, sounds like it could just be!!

Aww cute! I love purple. I have a skirt that's a gorgeous UV purple, covered in little carnivorous plants (from Little Shop of Horrors!), but I just don't wear skirts anymore. Might have to harvest the fabric haha. I can show you some time if you like.

I don't know any hymns 🫣 but I do adore singing. But I've found the hymn you mentioned and have popped it on in the background. If you're singing it too, it's like another little resonance of connection in the universe, and that makes me happy 😊

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@Jynx

Church is a bit hit and miss for me, communion is triggering, sermons can be triggering, being told how to feel, think or act is triggering (a number of people do that).

It's fairly simple to turn skirts into bags

  • Sew the bottom together
  • Either use the belt loops or a couple of grommets to make holes for handles

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Mm I can imagine @avant-garde - hope tomorrow is an easier one. May god let your path stray downhill for a time 🤞

Oooooh that's such a good idea!! You got all my creative energy ignited, thank you!

I am off for tonight, I am sending you allllll da squishy hugs, and will catch you next week 💜

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde ,

I attended a funeral last week. I requested the hymn, When peace like a river. This was the person's favourite song. He was in his 90s when he passed away. When I visited him in the nursing home, he didn't respond much, but when I sang him that song, the hummed along. It was pretty amazing.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

@tyme

It is well with my soul... I like that one too... I've been finding that wherever I am when I get overwhelmed I just start softly singing hymns...

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

Yes, so that song is very close to my heart. It means a lot, especially when things are tough @avant-garde

My sister wants me to make a few texts using the cricut I have. I haven't decided on the verses thought. These are to give away a gifts.

In response to: Re: Running

Re: Running

*gives @tyme a big squishy hug*

I personally like verse 3, my sin being nailed to the cross, but I like the whole song!

991 - 1,000 of 3,558