Am Not Coping

So sorry to hear that my friend @Shaz51

Is your Mum doing ok after the surgery?

Thinking of you

she is a bit better today @Zoe7 xx

but she has to stay in hospital for a while

Hubby is all worn out , sleeping this afternoon which will be good for him

@Zoe7 ..... I think you need to voice your concerns about hospital very firmly with your go and psych, which is hard when you don't even want to go there in your mind ... but Skyping with a psychiatrist instead of going to hospital might be an option for you. While it is seen as the second-best scenario at the moment, if you can explain very clearly that the thought of hospital is amping you up and pushing you towards the edge, it might get shifted to "best option" status to work through Skype.

Can you write a few key words down - just before you head out the door so you're not stressing in the lead-up - and hand them to your gp to start the conversation ? I say this because the words might escape you in the anxiety of the moment, and sometimes just having that little piece of paper in your hand can provide moral support .....

Oh I am sorry @Zoe7 - I spent so much of the day fiddling around trying to reset things on my computer I missed that you are battling

I understand that you are afraid of going to hospital to a huge degree - I am sure my reasons of hating hospitals are quite different but there has to be a point where we need to go - but yes - talk about this with your psychistrist - I think someone else has suggested this - and it's a good idea

Sleep deprivation has all sorts of complications - and making the situation worse is one of them

I am sure you will make the right decision in the long run - it seems to have been a tough time for you and getting more so

All the best

Dec

Hi @Zoe7

Sorry for the delay in responding!
It looks like since you posted you have been working with @Former-Member , which is great.

Hope you're travelling okay and feeling the love from this wonderful community 🙂

Nik

@utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar

As you all know I was really worried about what would happen at my appointment today! It was somuch better than yesterday. My GP recognised how distressing yesterday was and is doing everything possible to avoid going down that route. I told her I didn't think she fully understood how terrifying it was for me to think about and what she said and her reaction indicated that she really is getting the idea. She has talked to my psychologist and I think this also gave her a little more insight into how difficult it has been thinking about this.

The psychiatrist she has been trying to get hold of the last two days rang her while I was there. She talked to her and gave her a bit more context than was in the initial referral. She also relayed my fears about hospital and told her she was trying to avoid this by seeing me everyday, checking in with me on her days off and dispensing medication to me when she sees me each day. She is now going to arrange with the chemist for me to pick it up each day so I am covered on weekends and on her days off and so there is no possibility of that temption around me at the moment.

There is no movement forward yet in the appointment date to see the psychiatrist but at least now they have connected and are going to keep monitoring me as best they can between themselves until I can see the psychiatrist. She has put me on the cancellation list as a priority so that is sounding more promising.

My GP also helped me to list some of the warning signs (that she can see) when I am starting to deteriorate and become more at risk. I think you guys can probably see some of these also - it's a bit harder for me when I'm struggling.

They have changed my medication so the next week or so is probably going to be quite difficult. It is not something I have had previously so we have no idea yet how I am going to respond or if there will be any side effects. The last change we made had several side effects that lasted over a week before they started to abate.

The main concern from everyone is my lack of sleep. I can go back to the psychologist in just under two weeks and hopefully this will help with managing my fear of sleep, flashbacks and nightmares. It seems a really long time away but I need to wait until then to be able to see her through medicare.

Wow - that is a lot! Think that just about gets you all up to date though.

Thanks for supporting me here - you all really have made a difference - and kept me going over the last few days - which have been extremely tough

Hi @NikNik I'm doing ok just at the moment. The nights are really hard and that is when I start to struggle. Everyone here in this wonderful community has been so supportive and really helped to keep me going and stay safe when I just want to give up. Yes @Former-Member has been helping me out and I will work on my plan with her tomorrow sometime.

Thanks for your response. Hope you are going ok!