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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Lots and lots of hugs for you today @Faith-and-Hope. Toby gave me lots of snuggle time earlier - he knows little sweetheart! they are so perceptive

Horrible, mean WH - not nice Hon - you deserve so much better

I am hoping to do some more painting today but definitely not in the right headspace atm. Just fighting away the tears - didn't have a good night so need to take today as it comes and keep my head well above water.

Having S2 complete the paperwork for his deferral is a good thing - it will take a weight off when it is done - so WH is inadvertently helping there lol

The situation with S2 may eventually tip WH over the edge as well - that is not ideal but it may help you all in the long run. I can only hope for your sake that if this does happen it will finally be the catalyst for him recognising his 'issues' and that he is making life difficult for everyone. Fingers crossed xxx

Spending the day 'avoiding' seems like a very sensible thing to do - and if you can spend some time with people who are good company and doing things you enjoy the that should shine a little light in your day. If you need any more I have a few candles I can send your way lol

Look after yourself today - I will be thinking of you and sending lots of love and hugs your way throughout the day... and that little rainbow flutterby can sit on your shoulder to keep you company when you are feeling alone

Zoe

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thank you @Zoe7 .... I really appreciate it ..... I always know I can find comfort and support here on the forums.

I was looking uo e.d. support advice again last night and it reminds you to try to separate the e.d. mindset from the person themselves. It is like an alien creature, and can take over the whole family if you don't stay guarded and vigilant ..... the WH we know and love is still in there somewhere, and he will be horrified when this thing finally breaks and he sees what it's done .....

It is really hard watching him melt down, but doing so will also be our rescue .... so it's a very bitter thing, but will result in being able to move beyond this awful stage.

Keep your chin up as high as it will go. We can tread water together .....

Hugs n hugs ..... 💜💐💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I do so wish for you that WH's meltdown will reach crisis point soon, that you can have the person you love back again and be able to move forward with positive energy and more peace

I have my whole head out of the water today but I do know I have to work hard at treading water to keep it there - could easily start sinking if I can't do this. Support from 'friends' is a good start - the rest I need to fight to do myself - everything else takes a backseat when I am feeling this way - that is something I have learned and I am getting much better at recognising my own limitations during these times. When you get tired today I will hold you up and when I do I know you are there doing the same for me.

Huge hugs for you also @Faith-and-Hope...here with you and for you

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member if you are still around are we able to have that chat today?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7

Sorry that you have been having a difficult day. Lunar isnt around at the moment but I am happy to have a chat with you if you like

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Former-Member It's not urgent - it's a continuation of a previous discussion I have had with Lunar that I haven't been in the right 'frame of mind' to revisit until now - so there is no rush. Another day when she is available is fine

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hello @Zoe7

Sorry I wasn't able to chat today, it hard to know when I won't be on a call as it has been so busy, but hopefully you get to chat further about that discussion we had previously this week if you just keep trying okay 🙂

Hope you are resting, have the heater on and keeping warm with Toby

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hello My sister @Zoe7

sending you and @Faith-and-Hope lots of hugs xx

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Not a problem at all @Former-Member - let me know when it is not so busy for you - there is no rush. I already have the heater on and Toby is next to me - even Cat has stayed close today - they really are the most wonderfully perceptive little fur babies. I think trying to sleep early tonight is a good idea - last night was pretty awful and I am tired (what's new!). Catch ya soon Hugs to you and Elsie

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Lots of hugs back to you too @Shaz51

...and a few extra ones for @Faith-and-Hope

Hope you both have a good night.

Take care...

Zoe

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