Am Not Coping

Please don't feel the need to apologise @Zoe7 I feel privileged that you feel comfortable enough to share this with me.

That is exactly the way I feel about you too Hon but also moreso because of how much strength and courage it took for you to tell your mother what you did. I could never do that. Even though you mother is still so much in denial you did what you needed to do and that is unbelievably brave @Snowie It is no longer yours to keep within - her inability to believe or deal with it is all on her now. I do know that she would be feeling so many mixed feelings but to 'choose' one child over another is unforgiveable and the fact you are reminded of that everyday would be excruciating for you - so Snowie - you are amazing, you are strong and you I so very much admire

@Snowie I don't put a lot here - many reasons ...trying to move on from it all, not adding to anyone else's pain, being shut down when I have tried and being left unsupported when I have needed it most - all things I am used to as a matter of course in my life so it is the easiest route to take.

It must be hard to write what you have written hun, especially if in the past you haven't received a lot of support @Zoe7 I think sometimes it is easier to keep it within.

I think sometimes all we want is for someone to believe in us. We may not get that in real life but we do get that on here. The support I receive on here is so important to my journey. And if I can give someone else that support and a platform to write what they need to write then it is worth it. Listening to your journey shows me how much I can learn from you.

I am so sorry that your childhood was that way @Zoe7 . Cruel. Not fair. No wonder you are so remarkable and your soul is so pure. He couldn't take that away ❤️

@Snowie ❤️

You have always been a great support from the first day you joined @Snowie and although I don't share much we have always had a mutuallu beneficial 'understanding' - like situations, issues, obstacles often get talked about without actually saying much - we don't need to ...but sometimes it is just too hard to keep doing it all on our own. We learn from each other along that path too Hon. I find it really hard now to support some when I can see nothing is changing - it is just too hard - but you do all you can to try to move forward and that is both admirable and brave. Do not ever underestimate just how much you inspire others with your own strength - even when the bat signal goes up we know you are still reaching out and that shows strength also. You may not be where you want to be or doing what you want to do but you are still working forward and that really matters.

@Anastasia A lot of continued abuse in my history - from childhood to early adulthood - by many people ...it is very long and complicated but I am still here and doing what I can.

I think I have learnt more from people on here (you included) then I have learnt from people in my real life. The strength and courage that you (and others) show is to be admired.

Doing it on your own must be difficult hun, but I am glad you have others here that you can rely on.

Strength comes in all different forms and ways @Zoe7. The strongest people are not those that show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about. It is people like you that get up everyday to fight another day even with all the struggles you go through daily.

As you would well know, some of those days are just too hard @Snowie but that is okay because not every day is a walk in the park for anyone. I too find so much of that strength from people here - you, @Sans911 @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Teej @CheerBear have been particularly important to me along the journey - all of us with our own struggles but all amazing women who I utterly and totally admire - and I know it is a mutual respect that we share so that too makes it easier. But each and every member here is to be admired for sharing their stories and reaching out for support because often that first step is by far the hardest and it takes courage to do that.

That makes me sad (((( @Zoe7 ))))

I'm sorry to learn this ☹️