Am Not Coping

It is mutual respect hun, you are certainly right there.

Some of those days are extremely hard @Zoe7 and it sounds like you have had a lot of those hard days lately, with more of them to come. I just hope for your sake that everything does turn out for the best or at least with the least heartache possible.

I agree with you that the first step is the hardest and I also admire all those that have shared their story on here.

Yes there will no doubt be more of them to come over the coming few weeks @Snowie I have pdoc on Monday which is good because SI has been pretty high this week. Then GP Thursday to begin all the testing that needs to be done. In between Cat back to the vet and Tobes in for his teeth as well so while I won't be at work it is going to be a very full on and long week. I also need to try to get into the dentist as one of my teeth needs a filling (think it came out in the operation so needs to be replaced). Dressings changed on my hand and a trip to outpatients to check it with the surgeon also - not actually sure when I will be able to sleep in between. I am pretty sure I will need the following week off as well because I just cannot fit it all in this week - but it is a short week for us as the Thursday would have been Show Day and we have PD on the Friday. I am planning on going to the PD then can start back the Monday after with the kids. My GP will most likely want more time for me but I know if I do not get back to work soon I am going under again ...it is at that stage.

@Anastasia Don't be sad Hon - life is what it is and we have to make the best of what we have. I do try not to dwell too much on all that but there certainly are times it is very hard. There are lots of triggers and situations I am very uncomfortable in but learning to get through them. Hospital for me is a massive trigger but I survived 4 days there. It was hard because I had a male nurse for 2 days and felt very uncomfortable - he was kind of quirky though and I think that helped. I had female anaesthetists and one of the surgeons was female so that also helped. I have not had good experiences in hospital before - been quite traumatic so I really did not want to be there (who does I suppose but I think the doctor that admitted me knew I was not doing well and was very kind).

Wow @Zoe7 that is a lot for you to go through in such a short period of time. I hope everything works out ok for you. Am glad you have the pdoc on Monday. Hopefully they will be able to help with some of the things going on for you, or at least listen.

I haven't heard from my psychologist either @Snowie and am pretty over it. It is not her, it is the reception and I know they have had new people in there but still no appointent. I could call her directly but can't see where I would fit it in now anyway. Pdoc will listen and GP too so will make do for this week. I am going to organise some dinner Hon. Thank you so much for keeping me company. I will try to check back later. Hugs and hugs and hugs

I am glad I could keep you company hun, you have helped me this afternoon too @Zoe7

Hope you can organise something for tea without too much trouble from your hand hun.

Lots of hugs back 💕💕

I had some left over veggies I could not eat last night @Snowie so heated them up and cooked a small piece of chicken to go with them - think I have eaten too much despite it only being a small serve of everything so my tummy is going to feel it soon Tobes is snuggled on the doona on the couch and Cat is in her room while I have the rugby on to watch. I don't think my team will win tonight - we have too many good players out but I hope they give it a good crack anyway.

Sounds like you had a similar dinner to me, I just had left over veggies and chicken too. I did make sure I had cookies for dessert however!

Cat and Tobes seem settled in for the night. Watching Ambulance Australia on tv with Izzy laying on my lap. I think she is happy to have me home!

No doubt she is happy to have you home @Snowie Tobes was okay with my sister (he loves her) but when we came home he ran straight past her to me and then wet himself lol ...he was that excited to see me - and me him of course too. Missed my babies in hospital so much. It was certainly strange not having him next to me all the time but I had plenty of leads and things connected to me to that he would have struggled to fit on the bed lol

hello and hugs @Zoe7 , @Snowie , @Anastasia , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope

for dinner tonight we had scrambled eggs on toast , the eggs got frozen in the fridge and cracked

so I defrosted them and cooked them tonight

family all back together my sister @Zoe7 ,

Just wish my sister had her family all together again @Shaz51 She is broken right now but has been getting lots of cuddles from her dog baby and I think that is the only thing keeping her going right now. I am really worried about her