Am Not Coping

That is beautiful @Faith-and-Hope

I do think though that tonight I really need to be able to talk about things - even in a round about way - to help with my anxiety and to not keep it all bottled up - because that is really causing me a huge amount of distress at the moment.

Just having a few people around to listen tonight - at least for a little while - really is what I need - if that is ok!

I am really not sure how I am going to be able to 'move on' from this one quickly or how the SANE 'team' can help to support me either @Former-Member. I do feel really uncomfortable about the whole 'situation' - the forum has given me so much support but I am not feeling like it is the safest place to be atm also - so stuck!

@Zoe7.. I get that.. I was a click away from deleting my account last week. I clicked the close account, then a little box came up saying if I clicked once more I would not be able to recover my account and that would be that. Something in me stopped me, because I too only have this place and it has taken me a long time to find it.

No place, especially on the internet will ever be perfect, but I think this one is as good as can be. I think the mods do a fantastic job. I know you do too.

I was briefly on another forum, it was supposedly moderated but it was just terrible. I left there within a couple of weeks, never went to another one until I found this one and in comparison this one is top form. You don't want to leave it, nobody on here wants you to leave. It's never going to be perfect, but how do you protect yourself? I'm not sure, I wish I had the answer.

I just know, I didn't click that final button because at the moment, this is my only connection to something I really need to help me through this.

Hi @Former-Member, @Zoe7, I'm up late tonight and here to offer some additional support, Zoe.

I have been triggered on the forum from time to time. I took a break of about 7 months from the forum until just recently. Taking a break, rather than leaving, is one option I'd like to suggest.

Another option to make the forum safer for you is to not read messages in email notifications but instead come onto the site and use the notifications listing that's on the top right of the screen. I've taken to doing this, as I think it is one of the weaknesses of the site that things can get through to notifications in the way that has happened for you, Zoe.

So sorry you have had to go through this.

I am so glad you didn't click that box @Former-Member - wouldn't be the same without you stirring me up

This really is a fantastic place to be part of - and the mods truly are amazing - they do a wonderful job. They not only picked up these particular posts quickly but followed up personally as well.

I definitely don't want to leave - there are too many wonderful people on here who I truly care about - when we talk about our 'forum family' it is heartfelt. Everyone is welcome and supported - in whatever capacity is needed. I don't tend to ask for that support as much as I need it - I prefer to support others - I think that is partly why this is really affecting me because I don't feel like I presently have the capacity to support others - and that doesn't sit well with me.

I mean there are obvious ways to protect ourselves. Avoiding certain threads, trying not to let posts upset us, trying to be objective when we read posts that have the potential to upset us, turn off email notifications etc.

All those things are somewhat "obvious" but a 100% safeguard? That I am not sure of, that I don't think is possible and that's the problem. There will always be that element of chance we are going to come face to face with something confronting. So is it worth the risk? We have to make up our minds on that one and it's a very hard choice in these situations. A very personal choice.

sorry @Mazarita I had not seen your post. I was answering from email! The irony!

My dilemma here @Mazarita is that this is the only support (apart from my GP) that I have. I have stayed off the forum over the last week for a coupleof days at a time - and not opened emails either - but that has actually contributed to my current situation. I have avoided the forum to avoid any further triggers and in doing so haven't been able to 'distract' from my thoughts and feelings at all.

I suppose when it comes down to it - I put myself in this position by allowing the conversation to get to the stage it did - even though I could not have foreseen the direction it took - just very unfortunate really for everyone involved.

@Zoe7 then you need to think about this... what if it were someone else saying that? What would you say to for example.... @Faith-and-Hope if she suddenly had a crisis that she needed help instead of being able to help others? I think I know what you would say to her were she in that situation and was thinking of leaving because all of a sudden she couldn't help others.

That was a random name I picked, but the same would go for anyone else, I know you well enough to know what you would be saying to them. So forgive yourself, and don't expect any more from you than you would others. If you see what I'm trying to say.

@Zoe7, I don't think you put yourself in the position you are in now. These things often take us unawares. It's not always easy to leave forum conversations when we've formed some connection with the person or people we are talking to, especially if we are wanting to help. I agree you couldn't have foreseen the way it went. Given that there is only your GP otherwise, trying to make the forum as safe as possible for yourself could be the next step. I like @Former-Member list of possible ways to do that.