Am Not Coping

I would think that cos I'm a social klutz @Zoe7 and I often do upset people accidently and have no clue I've done it. But if I haven't the phew ... because that's a relief!!

Then can I make a suggestion? Just a suggestion.. nothing more than that? Something for you to think about at least? Would you mind?

@Former-Member I can stand in front of a class a talk to 30 kids, I don't care who else is in the room - the Principal, parents, other visitors etc. I am just the same no matter who is in there. I can run PD with over 100 other teachers or workshops with parents - and I can listen to and give constructive advice to just about anyone - but when it comes to dealing with myself and my own 'stuff' I have no thoughts and nor words!

@Former-Member I think maybe this conversation is not really too good for you right now - I do really appreciate you listening - considering where you have been in the last week yourself - but I don't want to put you in a postition where things are 'stirred up' for you any more. Thanks for being my sounding board for a little while - you really are a beautiful soul - and I do really appreciate it. Hope you can relax and find some peace yourself tonight.

Zoe

@Zoe7 I could never do what you do but for someone who thought I had an ok vocabulary I learned during therapy I didn't have a clue when it came to emotions. I also have a shocking EQ. My last psychologist did lots of work with me teaching me it. I hadn't even made connections to the physical sesations in my body. She taught me where I felt the sensations and what each sensation meant. I carried around on my phone lists of emotion words I had to learn and then connect them with the sensations etc. It can be learned @Zoe7. I then learned my vulnerabilities and triggers and what mode I went into for each trigger. I still haven't got a handle on being able to stop the distress but I have hope one day I will. In hospital this time the penny started to drop on self soothing for me. It's painful but may be it would be helpful just to see it as learning.

What is your suggestion @Former-Member?

@Zoe7 Zoe, I think you need to find a way to speak straight forward about what is bothering you. I know it is somehow forum related , at least the trigger part, and you are worried it might be upsetting to others, but if you keep it in like you are doing it isn't helping you.

So please find a way to get it out, post it .. find a way to say it, lay it on the line... so it's out instead of in. Then you might be able to free yourself a little and start moving forward from it rather than it eating you up like this. I really do think you need to try this. If you can find a way to open up.

That's all I am going to say, because I don't know you well enough to say more but I do feel for you deeply and I want you to feel better.

Tooky

Hi @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member, I don't know what to say accept to remind you there is some beautiful colours and sunshine in the world, in this life, even when we can't see it through the fog that roles over us and settles a while. Wait it out, things will become clear again, i promise. Your higher self knows this truth. Sending light, love and prayers your way. Sleep well this night dear friends, care for you xox

@Former-Member The forum related part I actually can't talk about here. That will have to be done off the forum - by email - to NikNik or Cherrybomb. The only thing I can say here is that apart from the mods there were only two forum members that were involved in receiving some posts (via email) - that were very explicit and confronting. The posts were pulled really quickly before others could see them but we received the emails - and I usually read the emails first. I am having a lot of trouble processing the content - yes they were extremely triggering and have left me feeling quite uncomfortable and distressed for nearly a week. At the time I did receive an email from the SANE team as they recognised how serious the posts were - and I said I was ok - I really wasn't but I didn't think I would actually be affected as much as I have been - that was my mistake - because over the last week the effects of those posts have snowballed with all my other 'stuff' combined and now I am having to deal with a lot of things combined. Does that make sense to you @Former-Member?