Am Not Coping

LOL I did think of that too @MDT but decided that really did not apply to us today - maybe tomorrow we might be more upbeat (like what I did there haha)

Still watching the cricket here @MDT Then going to get dressed and head to my sister's with Toby for a little while.

Have a great afternoon - meeting new people can be tricky but you are putting yourself out there and that is to be commended - go you

@Former-Member you are blitzing it on the motivation & action front so I’m afraid you may no longer suitable for the B Flat Band (BFB - can think of other words for those initials but they’re not so nice apart from last B being ‘blues’)! However @Former-Member you’d be ideal as the conductor I reckon! Will you make it to garage soon @Zoe7 ? A Friend just got back from overseas & we plan to get together tomorrow night. I should really offer to have the group at our house but I get overwhelmed by organising the house & food so probably won’t offer. I’m perpetually disappointed in myself (self-loathing) & am sick of thinking of myself all the time. My brain is just on this useless loop. I’ve got a family who love me & I should be doing better & more for them but I psychologically collapse in a heap pretty easily. Keep saying to myself I must just survive & be around for their sake. What they see is a bit different to how I feel but they’re aware I have depression. I hate being dependent on my husband & others. I don’t understand why I can’t be better. Maybe I just need to get better at tolerating unpleasant/distressing thoughts. Does anyone else have trouble focussed on more productive thoughts/activities? @Former-Member@Zoe7@CheerBear@MDT@TAB

sounds good @MDT its not that hot here touch wood

Oh stop @MDT - you are making me giggle lol

@Sam3 yes our @Former-Member would be a great conductor - I second that motion

The problem with depression @Sam3 is we know we should be doing more but our body and mind don't allow us to. Some days it really is simply a matter of getting through the day. You do hold down a job and manage your family so you are doing some really positive things despite it not feeling like that at times. We are also so much harder on ourselves than others are on us and those inwards expectations often do not equate to the outward ones. Go easy on yourself Hon - you can only do what you can do and it is okay to say you are not coping or not okay - especially to us here. We wear that mask continuously so others do not know how much of a struggle it is but inside we feel the pain every day. It is hard to get yourself motivated and focussed on actually doing things when you have been wearing that mask all week in both your job and family. Sometimes we need to just allow ourselves to feel the feelings in order to get through them.

Part of depression is the inability to focus on more productive thoughts/activities but I find making a plan or list helps. I have a plan to visit my sister today and am going to force myself to do that - I know I will be okay once I get there. Doing one thing at a time and doing it mindfully hels me also - not worrying about other things but being in the moment with what I am doing - DBT has really helped me with this.

The expectations we place on ourself can add to our low mood - especially if we are not capable of meeting them all the time - so go easy on yourself, choose one thing at a time to focus on and not let the things you cannot control get to you.

@Former-Member The Heat won with a couple of balls to spare but it did come down to the last over. Sorry about your girls Hon - hope you are not too disappointed

I must say @Zoe7 that your reply was EXTREMELY helpful to me so I’ve emailed it to be printed off. You have so much to offer others & I’m hoping for you it can be a case of “physician heal thyself”. I’ve hung out a huge load of washing, played word games with the 9yo & phoned another redundant colleague who is heard was upset to let her know about a job opportunity at another company. She volunteered positive feedback about me so it’s nice that being kind & responsive in group emails is encouraging to others. Enjoy your time with your sister @Zoe7 despite “being in the band” & enjoy meeting new people & being in tune with them @MDT (sorry couldn’t resist it!)