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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It is difficult when everyone wants experience but you can only get that by getting a job in that area @MDT. I think the thing in Poland will help you in the longer term but I can understand you being concerned with the type of employment relating to what you wanting to do to be important now as well. Government and international relations would be a hard thing to get into but I do believe you have the motivation and attitude that any employer would benefit from.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I watched Barty's game earlier and will watch De Minaur's tonight too - and switch between that and the cricket ...and keep checking on the Hurricanes as well later @Former-Member

I can only imagine how hard it is looking after hubby with all his illnesses - and how very hard it is for him too. You really do an amzing job and he is very lucky to have you as both a partner and as a carer.

The garage is moving along slowly but I am getting there by degrees. It has seemed that there is more and more to do the more I actually do but I did expect to find things that were instantly obvious that were damaged by the flooding. Some things need to be replaced and some just discarded. I am finding it satisfying though now that I can finally get it all sorted - still aiming to have the bulk of it done by Wednesday but that might be not attainable at this stage. I have to go back to the old school again tomorrow so that will take up half a day - see how it all goes I suppose - I can only do what I can do and I am starting to get pretty worn out by it all.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It's hard trying to measure where I can go when I'm worrying about what has been in the past @Zoe7

I keep looking back over the history of my degree. YES i do understand that I was dealing with issues. I don't think there is any debate over this. I accept that now. I used to struggle to accept that.

The issue now is that I can't say this on an application. So in order to "explain" or "show" why there is a gap I basically have to talk up my skills. I'm lying essentially.
But I did that initially in order to find work as a tutor. I turned out to be a pretty okay tutor. But just didn't get enough students due to demand and the fact that I couldn't lie "too much" about my resume.

So here is the current pickle I'm in. I want to go overseas to this course thingy, but that requires finding accomodation and work. At the same time I want to make sure I'm doing things that are actually worthwhile and beneficial.

It's hard. VERY hard.

I'm also just very very lost.

I have saved job search websites on my desktop. That's a start.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That is a start @MDT and you have been searching out opportunities on your own as well and that is commendable How long does this course in Poland go for? It is certainly something positive that you can add to your resume that will stand you aside from so many others.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

til June @Zoe7

But I will likely miss February session too. The Jan session is on right now.

It sucks because that bit I was looking forward to.

Employment and work has always been an area that I've struggled with. It's just associated with heaps of stress, self worth and all that....

I look at my resume and just feel shame and I feel pathetic.

So it's a real challenge to me to actually try and figure this out. Obviously on the normal levels buton the mental health level too.....

I wish so many things were different...

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Like all the social events and stuff @Zoe7

Yet I'm over here... reminds me of high school....

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It's like as soon as I find something that might help me on away to somewhere better.... all these bloody obstacles get in the way to the point where it might as well be impossible to do .....


sorry I'm ranting now.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I understand you have regrets @MDT but we can't change the past - we can only work with what we have now and how we move forward with what we have is the real mark of who we are. I have said this to you before but think it is worth repeating - you are a very intelligent, capable, caring and driven young man. Some things have not fallen your way but that is not because you have not tried - go easier on yourself buddy - you are very much an exceptional human being in my eyes and I am sure others here would agree. Don't let your past determine who you can be, and will be, in the future because the future can be everything you want it to be - it just takes time.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Obstacles are just nuisances to knock over or find a way around buddy - they don't need to be permanent - see them as challenges rather than road blocks @MDT

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7

Off to dinner for me.

You are a good forumite friend 🙂
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