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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

And here I was thinking I was hiding @Zoe7 😆😉 I am enjoying popping in and out today and reading along where I can. Good job with the washing! And big yay for doona being more of a Toby thing these days 😊

It's hot, humid and blegh here today. Big and I (and the cats) have come home and so far we've unpacked the car, taken down the tree and decorations and set up their new and very fancy study desk from xmas. We'll take a trip to Officeworks later so they can get some supplies with a gift voucher they were given. They're having a ball (little geek 🤓😍). I am a bit tired but glad to have been productive today.

Are you still planning on heading out?

Good luck with the appointment @Former-Member ❤ and a big hi and welcome from me also @Sam3. Great to see you here and in some wonderful company already 🙂

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Sam3. When it comes to getting tasks done when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I like lists (I like lists for anything and everything!). Breaking it down into little steps helps me. I also use incentives or rewards for myself to encourage me to do things. A nice cup of tea (I have some fancy teas I rarely use), an episode of my favourite show, even the promise of a shower or bath after I've finished, can help me get moving.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

No not heading out today @CheerBear - they are having a BBQ instead and it is around 40 minutes away so am staying home. It means I won't see them all before they leave but that is okay. I am quite okay about it - would rather stay home today and continue to rest - it has been a really busy few weeks. I am getting some things done so that is a bonus and I can watch the cricket and do some more painting tonight instead.

Yay for Big having a desk and voucher to Officeworks - that sounds a bit like me and Bunnings - it is like disneyland for me lol

I might even take Toby for a trip there tomorrow and see what I can purchase with all my gift cards. I'll have a look online first to check out what is in stock and then I will know how much I will need to use of my cards. Gotta love gift cards to your favourite shop

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thats good to get rid of stuff been bugging you @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I love lists too @CheerBear @Sam3 - there is something satisfying with being able to cross things off and see things being achieved. I actually have a whieboard divided into inside and outside things and then also into short and long term things that need to be done - it helps to cross things off but can also add and subtract as I go along.

@CheerBear does that sound like somethin Big would be into - the nerd in me coming out lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That's great that you're OK with not going @Zoe7 and you get to enjoy a quieter rest day today. We have the cricket on also, though it's a bit of a 😖 game!

Haha with you and Bunnings! I can relate. Spotlight then a tie between Bunnings and Officeworks would be my thing I think! So fun to have gift cards 🙂 this gift card was a very thoughtful and special gift from my friend. We all came home from Big's graduation to find a congratulations card hanging on the door with it inside that he had dropped off while we were out. It made big get all awww and a little teary. Such a nice thing to do, especially as they have a pretty substantial list of supplies they need for school next year.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks a lot Cheerbear for the reminder of rewards, but the pressure of lists would undo me! I’m functioning at a much lower level at present. Can’t even get kids out of the house & have very little, if any, drive. Still haven’t put that washing away! Your title as “Community Guide” seems appropriate as you sound very on-top of things.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I have recently added a big whiteboard to my room @Zoe7 and made some pretty magnetic labels (and laminated them - yep geek/nerd here too 😆) to add to it. I love it! Very funny you mention Big and whiteboard as we've just had an argument about whether they should get one as they want on but we are pretty limited in space and their desk is now taking a chunk of our neat, organised dining room so I'm less keen on the idea than they are! Long story short - yep Big would love one!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That really was a wonderful gift for Big from your friend @CheerBear Such a lovely thing to do. Things like that restore your faith in humanity - especially when they are so unexpected.

Spotlight and Officeworks are on my favourites lists also - especially for art supplies. Somewhich I can only get at one of the 2 places - other things I can get cheaper at the cheaper shops now that the Art Shed has closed down. There is an Art shop in the city but that is much more expensive and more difficult to get to. I have a voucher for there as well from this christmas so I can invest in some new, high quality paint brushes - and it is close to Spotlight so that might end up being an expensive trip to the city lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Big has learnt from Mum then CB lol - Mine currently sits on the floor balanced up against some shelves in my loungeroom - it will eventually go in the spare room when I can get that sorted out but that needs to wait until I am back at work @CheerBear

Maybe Big could lean it against the desk and that way it would take up less room.

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