Am Not Coping

Thank you for your response here @Owlunar I tend to agree that it is not always possible to find 'closure' but we more learn to deal with the losses in our own way. For me it is not necessarily about moving forward but moving through and feeling those losses mean to me how important those people were to me. I am struggling with this one quite a bit - I know that I have to find ways to deal with it but right now that is super hard. I can't see it getting any easier in the short term either but as with everything - in time I hope to come to terms with it more.

Hi @Zoe7

After a long "uuummmmm - moment" You are right - you do need to move through the losses and what they mean - what the person meant to you - or the time in your life - and it is called grief work for a reason - it's very hard work - among the hardest you will ever do in your life

An agency could could call is Grief Line (National and metro Melbourne - 9935 7400 or National - land-line only - 1300 845 745). I use the service occasionally and I have actually worked as a Telephone Counsellor there a long time in the past - I recommend it might help.

A loss I had in my youth was the young man who worked beside me - he was killed in a car accident and I was devastated - I learned about it at work and I remember swallowing my grief hard that day. Long story short - I didn't deal with it and it came back when my son died and I had to deal with it then - sooooo many years later -

So yes - short term or long term - loss has to be worked through and there is no easy way.

What does the loss mean because things change? What did the person mean? This guy and I spent 40 hours a week sitting next to each other sharing some of our work. He was my age. My family was not at all helpful - I don't remember more than mentioning it at home -

So these things have to be dealt with - I hear you - and you need to work through it - you are right

It's really hard - I know

Dec

It doesn't matter whether that person has passed away or moved out of your life in other ways @Owlunar - it is still loss that needs to be worked through. What it does do for me is make it harder to function whilst feeling the pain of that loss. I have been so good all my life at shutting down the emotions to be able to deal with loss but there has been a couple of very important people in my wor;d of late that have moved on to other things and I really feel those losses.

I need to get myself to the pool today - I wasn;t going to go but if I don;t I know I will fall deeper into this dark place I am feeling in today - so getting out and doing what I have been reguarly is super importsnt today - even if I don't stay long simply the act of getting there will be a win.

It's a loss when people move on too @Zoe7

That's could keeping up the hydrotherapy - doing whatever you can to keep out of that dark place - I will feel better when the weather is warmer - the cold weather has increased my back pain lately and I try and walk around the house and walk around outside and at least walk up to the shops each day

And I agree - super-important even if you don't stay long or I don't walk far

Great chat Zoe

Dec

Thanks @Zoe7 .... 💚🦋💕

@Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar

I only went through my exercises once today then floated around for a while and just tried to be in the moment in the water. I was so tired that even that was hard. Home now and I think a sleep is definitely on the cards this afternoon - I am going to try to stay awake but lack of motivation and tiredness may win over. One of the other swimmers commented on how tired I looked at that really re-inforcedmhow tired I am feeling. I know why I am struggling at the moment but can't seem to get on top of it. Think this is one of those day I just need to get through but I know tomorrow will be super hard - I hate change!

It's great you got to do your exercises even once @Zoe7

Why not nap today - it's one way of getting through a gloomy day

Dec

One of the things we have been working on is getting my sleep at night right and then not sleeping during the day even if I'm super tired so trying to stick to that as much as possible. I slept a lot a couple of weeks ago when I was unwell again so getting back into that routine is essential to be able to put things in place to return to work @Owlunar

I understand @Zoe7

I am working on waking up earlier which means going to bed earlier and it's a bit ragged but sort of working

It's really good that you are working on getting back to work -

Dec

btw - the weather is really cold and miserable here today - I had a cooked lunch but still feel really chilly and it's raining

engh 😞

It is sunny here today but still fairly cold @Owlunar The mountain sits majestically on the light blue skyline with touches of white on the summit - it is beautiful