Am Not Coping

Ahahaha scrabble I always play scrabble with my mum when I am at her place @Shaz51. Does she like the old Pointless show on the ABC? Far better than the one on Channel 10

@Bunniekins @Shaz51 You both have such a loving relationship with your mothers - it is wonderful to see

We can do homework together @Zoe7

The women in my family love Scrabble and would pull out the Scrabble board whenever they were together. My kids and I have taken to Bananagrams, which is a derivative of Scrabble and is fast, fun and portable. We have played it all over the place !!

lol Homework buddies @Faith-and-Hope

Did you make it to the pool Hon?

she like the old Pointless show on the ABC?-- yes she does @Bunniekins, but they have stopped it and put on "Dr Who "

@Shaz51 Shame about the old Pointless show because that was a really clever show .... and to put on Dr Who at that time is crazy I would have thought.

Heading to the pool now @Zoe7 ....

Baby dragon melt-down here ......

I will be back later

Good morning @Zoe7 ....

My mr. was back by the time I came back from the pool, and the baby dragons had dispursed to different corners of the house.

I got stuck into my homework again, but have left myself behind with visual diary stuff, and the first submission for that is tomorrow ..... so I will need to work across my long lunch hour today to bring myself up to speed. I have all the bits and pieces I need .... well, mostly ..... but I will be in the library so I will be able to print whatever is missing.

Thinking of you, and hoping you slept okay.

Hi to anyone else up and about .....

Sending you lots of good vibes to get your visual diary stuff done @Faith-and-Hope

I am glad you got to the pool and could relax a little for a while last night.

I am struggling to get motvated for ther pool myself today - very tired this morning - will see how I feel closer to pool time and may give it a miss today.

I hope you have a great day in class and get the printing done you need in your break.

Will be thinking of you Hon

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@Zoe7 wrote:

DBT was a bit harder today - I couldn't concentrate - have been like that since Friday night. Instead of talking today I said I had had a shite week and that I wasn't able to say much today - that went over ok which was good because I think I would have burst into tears today if I had to say anything more than I did.

Pdoc appointment went a bit longer than usual - talked to her about loss and how much it is affecting me and although I can't change it I feel like I am not dealing with it either...

Still feeling pretty lost today but having some things moving forward is helping - the next 2 days will be hard - I know that - but I will get through them somehow and no doubt be able to move on in time.

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Hi @Zoe7

Well said - you went to your DBT session and said your piece - the truth - what better truth can you give? and you stayed even though you felt like leaving

You gave yourself the right to your boundaries - you felt as if you would burst into tears if you said anything - and protected yourself - that is well done - really

And sometimes our silent presence is worthwhile - did I write in response to you that in any given circumstance - everyone learns? - whether that was on the curriculum doesn't matter - you learned something in the DBT group and so did everyone else - and whatever else - they respected your privacy

And I do too - we do not have to speak just to fill up the silence - no one will ever know what was said in that space that might have been invaluable

So - you protected yourself from your shit-week - and you had a longer session with your pdoc and talked about loss - admitting how it affects you and you can't change your feelings - and that's true - feelings are what they are -

From my own experience - loss is devastating and it takes a long time to deal with it - in what way - closure? acceptance? coming to terms with it? changing things?

I am not sure I believe in closure - I am not even sure what that is. Accepting something comes in time I think - coming to terms is harder and hey - I am not sure with the difference here even as I write. We can change things - I changed a lot - even my name - but it all took time and even after all this time I still have times when I feel itchy and edgy about my major loss at times - I get it

But I gather that through all of this you can somethings fall back into SI sometimes - I hear you - I wonder about what that means to different people but maybe that is a coping process too - for a time after my son died I think I thought about it - maybe that was a way to come to terms - to lessen my loss - I am not sure but I am in favour of your finding another way passed your loss

The thing is the loss remains - that's the hard part - I wish the Burning Bush would give me a good idea right now

Sending my best thoughts Zoe and I think you did well at the DBT and with your pdoc

Dec