Listening to triggering music

@rav3n I won't say my psychologist was a bad psych, just maybe not for me. I can see how her approach may work for others. I am just a different person. Pdoc was questionable though, texting during appointments and gaslighting are not okay. Nor is blaming and shaming the client.

I do my research when look for my supporting team. Sometimes it is hard to find reviews, I do think you often need to have a quick phone call to determine whether they are suitable. I do need to start looking for another therapist since I will be finishing up with the guided service. The guided service has been really helpful and it was good to get another point of view. It allowed me to see what I wanted in a therapist too. I did once have another therapist who was pretty good for a short term basis. What I think stood out was emotional validation, and the willing to be vulnerable and human, without crossing boundaries obviously. I think many clients want someone who is genuine and willing to hold that pain and that requires some vulnerability to a certain extent. My supervisor has taught me a lot. I am guilty of over-masking since I struggle to feel okay with vulnerable too. That's why I thought it would be good to work on my healing a bit more before going into the workforce

How do I clean this trauma off me?

I think I am spiralling and it's getting bad, I want it to end. I'm safe

Hi @creative_writer Has something happened this morning to send you into this spiral?

Thank you for clarifying that you're safe but I'm hearing that this is feeling very overwhelming for you. I know it can be hard to think when our thoughts and emotions are so loud, but I'm wondering if there are some self-soothing techniques that have helped in similar times in the past?

@Ru-bee I have been feeling more agitated since Friday night. It's been harder since then. I have taken a few PRNs, I am hoping it settles soon. Right now I am working on uni assignments and listening to depressing music

Oh okay, I hope it settles soon too but until it does I'm here to chat if that helps @creative_writer

Do you have classes today?

@Ru-bee I don't have classes today, it's assessment period right now. I have to wrap my final assignments up soon, the first two are due next week.

It doesn't help my brain is screaming. Remembering what I don't want to remember. I feel the urge to scrub this shame off me

Ah okay, sounds like a stressful period @creative_writer I wonder if this pressure might be contributing to how you're feeling at the moment? I know my own mental health would regularly take a nose-dive when it was coming up to multiple due dates

Do you find grounding exercises to be helpful when these memories start to force their way into the front of your mind? Just reminding yourself that you are not on those memories and that you are safe from them in the present moment, even if it might not feel that way in your body

@Ru-bee I’m sure uni stress doesn’t help. Grounding can help. I do find it hard at times to remind myself that I’m not those memories. Even though on a logical level I know I am safe but my body doesn’t feel safe

Yeah, sometimes we can logically know something, but our bodies and our emotions are at odds with us @creative_writer

Sometimes when I really need to get out of my thoughts I find it best to do something active, like walking or going for a jog, getting moving usually brings my attention in the present. What are your go-to grounding methods?