Listening to triggering music

@Jynx it happens when your routine changes, everything goes out of whack. I’m out of routine from being on holidays and being sick didn’t help.

Maybe deep down I feel like I’m unworthy so it puts me off. Same thing with romantic relationships. I’m actually feeling pretty confused whether I’m Ace, because I feel deep down trauma has made me this way. I feel if it didn’t happen things would be different.

I’ve just came back from the doctors and I have to take antibiotics and use a nasal spray. I have a sinus issue

@creative_writer aye that'd do it!

My ADHD: Routine? Who's that?

My ASD: If you divert from my usual way of doing things for EVEN A SECOND I WILL BURN IT ALL DOWN

🤣

As far as I've been witness to, in the Ace community it is entirely valid to identify with the ace label due to sexual trauma. But being asexual and being aromantic are two different things - do you think you're feeling a sense of both? Like, no experiences of sexual attraction, as well as no desire for romantic intimacy?

Queerplatonic relationships are a thing!! One of my nearest and dearest is someone with whom I share a very emotionally intimate bond, but neither of us have any desire to begin a sexual relationship. Some folks even marry their platonic partners, build a life together, and have absolutely no need to introduce sexual intimacy into their lives. There's all sorts of different (and all very valid) ways of being in relationship to others. S'why I'm a Relationship Anarchist!! Cos I believe relationships ought to be their own thing created by the people in them, not some formulaic set of instructions about how we should interact with the people we care about.

Noooo not the sinuses!! You must feel like a clogged drain, you poor thing 🥺

@Jynx I don’t understand my brain either. I want routine but novelty. Once my routine is disrupted it takes forever to go back.

I’m not sure if I would say I’m aromantic, I do find men attractive. I can do hugs and physical contact to some extent but don’t feel comfortable with anything too intimate. My brain has negative connotations with sexual intimacy and I’m afraid of getting triggered.

I saw my more regular GP today who did a more thorough check, at least I know I need to use antibiotic plus nasal spray. The pain was so excruciating earlier today, I wouldn’t have survived without pain relief, though it’s not healthy for the stomach to eat pain relief on a regular basis, I already have GERD

@creative_writer pretty much this 😅

Mm it definitely helps to find connections with folks who are understanding of stuff like triggers and trauma. Have you thought about getting like, some sex therapy?

Oh wow it's smackin you about!! Lots of bed rest... which I'm sure is just awesome for the restlessness...

@Jynx completely relate to that meme 🤣

If I’m going to be honest I haven’t really looked much into sex therapy before. I won’t rule it out for an option.

I don’t know how to rest, maybe it’s an ADHD, I can sit or lie still

@creative_writer I imagine sex therapy would be one where the quality of the therapeutic relationship has to be TOP NOTCH to be able to feel like you can talk about everything safely. It's such a big part of our psyche, I wish sex and sexual trauma were talked about waaaay more.

Aye I feel that!! Rest to me doesn't mean 'sit there n do nothing' it just means like... take things a bit slower, don't over-commit, don't follow my impulse to go buy cake mix at 11pm at night, ya know?

@Jynx therapeutic relationship would be key. There are also therapists that specialise in sexual trauma which is another alternative option if multiple therapists is too expensive.

It’s hard knowing I should be applying for jobs but feel too sick too. It can wait a bit longer, I need to get better soon. The only buying I’ve been doing is online shopping. If you need skincare and matcha, it’s justifiable. I’ve been getting more breakouts around my jaw, probably because I’ve been sick

@creative_writer aye for sure, plus cultural awareness or experience and someone whose value system resonates with your own. Might be tricky to find ay!! Personally I'd start in queer spaces, purely for the higher likelihood for a more open-minded approach, as well as a better understanding of stuff like asexuality. Last thing you want is someone trying to 'fix' you.

Yesssss skincare always allowed!! Ugh I gotta get into skin care but it's soooo overwhelming. I dunno what my skin needs but I know my sensory issues make it nearly impossible to find moisturisers with a texture I can handle!!

Maybe you could start a skin care thread and we can all swap tips and I'll come lurk about absorbing everyone's knowledge 😋

I'm off anyway!! Catch ya next time - hope your sinuses respond to the meds and you feel more spritely tomorrow!! Toooodles 💜

@Jynx I’ve been screening psychs and haven’t found anyone yet I’m satisfied with. I am feeling very frustrated with myself for having so many requirements. I don’t know if I should just give up.

I have sensory issues with skincare too. I do have to use a heavier moisturiser at night because my skin is so dry and it’s frustrating. During the day I tend to stick to lightweight skincare.

My sinuses are clearing up slowly but surely. I hope today has been kind to you 💖

@creative_writer I can absolutely understand the frustration hun. I reckon you having 'requirements' is not the issue here though, like it shouldn't matter what someone's needs are, they should still be able to locate and access suitable services. Locate being the operative word here - like one should not have to have insider knowledge of the system to be able to find the right match (and you do know the system and you're STILL having trouble!). It's just not good enough, and the side effect is that it can leave folks feeling like they're 'too broken' or 'too hard-basket'. Grrrrr.

I found this 'in-shower' moisturiser once and I LOVED it, because I could use it and then rinse it off right after!! So I got to partake in some skin care without the oh so fun 'omgomg I am so slimy and stickyyyyy' feeling!! Alas... I haven't found it again since.

Yessss give us the clear breathing tubes pls and thank!!