Listening to triggering music

Yeah nah, finding a sustainable work/life balance is key @creative_writer and for us NDs that usually looks quite different from the status quo!

What have you got on over next couple weeks? Lot's of vegging I hope! And when do you graduate? How exciting!!

@Jynx work life balance is often different for those of us who are ND.

I do intend to spend my time relaxing. I know it’s going to take time to heal, but I want it over and done with. I know it doesn’t work that way. I’ve been trying to figure out how to unstuck myself but I don’t know. Like I want to be able to move on with my life and hold a job. At this point, things feel impossible.

I graduate at the middle of December

@creative_writer Aye that's a frustrating feeling. Sometimes I wonder if that frustration in itself can be a factor, I feel it definitely has been for me in the past.

Also, might be helpful to remember that a) you're burnt out and b) you're in a transitional period of your life where your routine is getting upended again. I'd be surprised if there was any room in your brain to reflect on these things!!

If I were in your shoes (I'd probably stretch them lol my feet are laaarge) I'd try to focus solely on clearing out the cobwebs - i.e. first the resting and celebrating, then like getting back to some of my hobbies, reading for fun instead of study, doing some somatic work or getting a remedial massage, and re-focus on my spiritual practice. Try to clear out all that uni goop (heh) from the system, and attend to whatever things I had to (necessarily) neglect or cease whilst studying.

PS what ARE you gonna do to celebrate? Cos that's also essential! Gotta mark our achievements before setting the next goal, and for those of us who are 'overachievers' or have the harsh inner critic, it can be so hard! Which is why it is extra important to make sure you carve out time for it 😉

@Jynx I do need a lot of rest, but my mind isn’t used to resting. I feel like I must be on the go. I do believe I need to fill my day with nourishing activities. However, I am so used to having things to do, my mind goes to what can I do to heal myself so it doesn’t hurt this much.

I’ll be attending my graduation. My sister’s graduation is on the same day too

@creative_writer yeah that's a big mood hey!! I think it was one of the things that just helped my sister get her ADHD diagnosis - her inability to sit still and rest!! I'm the same too, the idea of just sitting and not doing anything sounds horrible tbh.

I think that's where the idea of the 7 types of rest we need really came in crutch for me! It helped me identify that a) there's all sorts of ways we feel tired, and it's important to be able to recognise the ones that aren't as physical, and b) that 'just sitting there doing nothing' is hardly the only way we can replenish our internal resources.

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@creative_writer wrote:
However, I am so used to having things to do, my mind goes to what can I do to heal myself so it doesn’t hurt this much.

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Anything coming to the surface or any ideas on this yet?

Woah, two graduations on the same day, that's a recipe for overwhelm!! How you feel about it?

@Jynx I find it really hard to rest even when I’m sick, because I feel the need to constantly move.

I have a built up of emotions and don’t know what to do with it. I am stuck in this paralysing stuckness. Nothing is coming out.

It’s a bit frustrating that we both got allocated to different time slots. But I do believe we will be driving in between to rest up. I’m probably not going to change clothes and wear the same dress during my sister’s and my graduation. It is overwhelming having to go through it twice

@creative_writer I think that's kinda what I was getting at? Like me 'resting' still involves the movement of doing something, just something more nourishing or replenishing or low energy. For instance, colouring in while watching tv, playing video games, reading a book; all of these are ways I 'relax' - but they keep me mentally occupied, so they're more for the physical rest side of things. If I need mental rest, I do something that allows me to get into flow state, like cooking or art, because then I'm not really thinking I'm just floating along doing the task. Hence the 7 types of rest thing - figuring out how you need to rest is the trick, and also I guess knowing that ND rest will probably look a bit different to NT rest!!

...perhaps nothing is coming out because you don't feel like you have a safe space for it to come out?

Oh yeah, day like that you gotta maximise comfort and convenience hey!! Now I'm picturing you rocking up to the graduation in a pair of blue-light glasses, but ones that are suuuper red - so you kinda look like a vampire!! A super cool and sexy vampire 😎

Probably just me though 😂

@Jynx I think reflecting on what gives me rest and nourishes me may be helpful. It is very hard for ND to do nothing. Today I practiced some Arabic reading, did some prayers. I also had a trip to the eye specialist. Who gave me antibiotics and referred me because he reckons it might require a small surgery. He also gave me eye drops since the pressure was higher today. I wonder if it’s because I’ve been so stressed too.

It feels suffocating not being able to get it out but feeling like it’s stuck. I don’t know what I need to do. Sometimes pain can’t be completely verbalised. I am in constant war with myself, the rational brain argues with the emotional brain.

I might not go as far as wearing red glasses, I have some amber ones that I often carry around when I go out in case I feel too overstimulated. I can always take the off when taking photos

@creative_writer sounds like a lovely day! I would say that if it weren't for the eye specialist trip, that would be the perfect example of a relaxing day! But obviously health comes first! I hope the antibiotics help, and that you don't end up needing surgery!

Mmm yeah it's tricky hey, stuckness suuuucks. I do have hope though that things will become clearer once you're a bit further past this period of time. Like yeah no more assignments, but I imagine your brain is still kinda operating in 'uni mode'.

Another thought.... you ever thought about Psychedelic Assisted Therapy? The enormous increase in neuroplasticity provided by the medicines (like MDMA and Psilocybin) means that our brains become ripe for change - makes it easier to process stuff, break patterns, and start making new ones. These guys are the ones I did my course with, very worth checking out!

Ahaha spoil my vampire fantasy with your rational and reasonable decision why don't you! Teehee. Do you have an outfit picked out already? Gonna wear those super flowy and fancy robes?

@Jynx I sure hope I don’t need surgery. It is another issue to worry about. I do need to make another trip to the eye specialist in a few weeks since he wants to monitor my eye pressure after I use the eye drops. I hate eye drops, I don’t like the sensation of them. I need to use them for lowering the pressure.

I think my brain is still in uni mode. I am constantly problem solving.

I haven’t looked into psychedelics. Though I do know my pdoc is careful with certain treatments due to Bipolar. So I don’t know if it an option. Only my pdoc can answer. I am starting to think maybe I’ll benefit from more EMDR or somatic therapy. I don’t really feel like talking about trauma details with a therapist anymore. I already tried with my psych. Repeating the story over and over only gets you so far. I have too much stored within me and I don’t know how to get it out.

Yeah I do have an outfit picked out. I got the dress a while back. I just hope it’s not too warm on the day so I don’t soak the dress while I wear my robes