creative_writerSenior Contributor
Listening to triggering music
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
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Listening to triggering music
656 replies
In response to: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
@Ru-bee I just don’t know. I guess we can’t always control our thoughts. It’s just hard sitting with the uncomfortable. It’s hard when part of your brain bases your self worth on trauma and the other part of the brain knows better
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
Ru-beeModerator
Re: Listening to triggering music
No you're right @creative_writer we can give it a go but I think it would be impossible to always control our thoughts. Sitting with the uncomfortable is, well, really uncomfortable, but sometimes its all we can do.
I can hear how much your mind is at odds with itself sometimes. It's that difference between knowing something on a logical and objective level, and really believing it and accepting it. That belief can be hard to alter because I think it's rooted in a deeper place within us and it takes a long time to form, so it can take a long time to change
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
@Ru-bee I don’t really truly believe it. I just don’t know how to. I don’t know why I make it a big deal. Life doesn’t always go the way we want it. But why do I feel so unworthy because of it? My brain keeps telling me I should’ve saved myself
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
Ru-beeModerator
Re: Listening to triggering music
I want to form a more thought out response, but I'm just finishing up now so I'll have to return to this thought tomorrow @creative_writer . Others are around if you want to keep voicing what's on your mind, I'm glad that you were able to put some of this into words today, I hope it's been helpful
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
@Ru-bee I hope you have a restful evening.
It has been helpful to talk a bit. It’s hard to get out of this stuck-ness. It’s complicated
It has been helpful to talk a bit. It’s hard to get out of this stuck-ness. It’s complicated
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
Ru-beeModerator
Re: Listening to triggering music
Just reading back on your post today @creative_writer and 2 thoughts came to mind. The first is that sometimes it feels safer to blame ourselves for a traumatic event, because that is easier to cope with than the idea of not having had control in that moment. I'm sure there are others factors at play too, but I think that is a part of it for many.
With this feeling of unworthiness, this makes me wonder if there is something here that is bringing up some deeply held beliefs about self-worth? These can be things that we've absorbed from childhood, from our family, or wider society and culture, and they might be at odds with things that we know logically. What do you think?
On another note, I was thinking about you the other day because I've started drinking matcha but I don't know if it counts because its strawberry matcha (yum). I'm hoping this will be my first baby step in acquiring the taste for matcha!
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
@Ru-bee I do think it can be about gaining a sense of control. Sometimes I do struggle with letting go. I know there is only so much I can control.
Unworthiness is probably related to society expectations. I didn’t want to have any sexual experiences before marriage. But I guess it was out of my control.
Strawberry matcha sounds lovely. I think I’ve acquired the taste of matcha and have made it stronger over time. Good matcha is also key but it’s so expensive. Matcha is also like medicine to me, helps with chronic migraine and anxiety. Obviously not a fix, but it helps. Probably the ADHDness at play too
Unworthiness is probably related to society expectations. I didn’t want to have any sexual experiences before marriage. But I guess it was out of my control.
Strawberry matcha sounds lovely. I think I’ve acquired the taste of matcha and have made it stronger over time. Good matcha is also key but it’s so expensive. Matcha is also like medicine to me, helps with chronic migraine and anxiety. Obviously not a fix, but it helps. Probably the ADHDness at play too
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
Why does it matter so much? I feel a sense of loss
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
I’m tired. Can I sleep for the next week and not think?
In response to: Re: Listening to triggering music
rav3nSenior Contributor
Re: Listening to triggering music
hey @creative_writer honestly sleeping for a week is a big mood.
anything in particular making you tired? uni?
