Never being in a relationship

@Jynx

Thanks for the response, I am going to keep it short as I am currently immensely fatigued.

Unfortunately I dont have a lot of friends. That's my problem. I dont have the energy to go out and form friendships so I dont have anyone I can double with. I am completely and utterly cooked. I have no energy or motivation to do anything because I cant be properly present. I hate this so much

@Former-Member mmm I feel like disconnection is one of the most pervasive and tricky things that is currently plaguing our soicety. Our modern adult lives do not leave much time for seeking new friends. I think this is also a factor:

Just some food for thought. You know, I've actually had remarkable luck just being very forward when I meet someone cool, and asking directly, 'Hey, wanna be friends?' Since disconnection and loneliness are such HUGE issues, you might be surprised by how eager people are and how much they appreciate the forwardness!!

Anyway, I know your energy levels are really low so please do not feel like you gotta respond right away... or at all. But if you wanna unpack it further or chat more about what's going on at any point, you know where to find me 😊💜

@Jynx

I cant get out and meet others for an extended period of time. I have no energy and have had no energy for years. Why dont people understand this? Honestly going to hospital and just staying there never to leave again might be the best solution. I am getting to that point where I dont feel safe due to the inaccessibility of ADHD meds, having an actual life where people finally understand my difficulties and find a service that fits me. I dont like living, I hate it I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it

@Former-Member I guess it depends on which people you're trying to form bonds with. If you're not receiving understanding and they're not able to respect your boundaries around your need for space, then perhaps they're not the right people for you. I think it can be genuinely difficult to find people who have at least some understanding of things like complex mental ill health and chronic illness.

I can really hear the distress that you're in, and that things are starting to feel unsafe for you. Do you have like a safety plan and stuff? Are you worried about acting on any of the thoughts? Here with you friend 💜

@Jynx

I have been feeling this way for well over 10 years. I have put so much effort into building my life and keep hitting road blocks. I feel so jaded and cynical about life that I dont have much hope for the future.

I have a safety plan but I dont know what to do anymore. I want practical strategies to solve my problems. I dont want vague platitudes and cliches. I WANT TO START LIVING NOW AND ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING

@Former-Member I want you to know I understand your frustration, I really do. I wish more people understood that our attachment system is inextricably linked with our survival system. It literally feels like a threat to our safety to not have solid connections in our lives.

In terms of practical strategies, is this something that you can work on with your professional supports, or is that where all the platitudes are coming from? Have you ever thought about getting a Life Coach?

@Jynx

I am glad you understand. I am sick of being gaslit by others who say that I need to be good on my own before need friendships. I have been on my own for years, when am I allowed to have friends?

I feel like a lot of the platitudes come from the professional supports. I also saw a life coach a year and a bit okay and he essentially just ripped me off.

Does anyone else feel the slow, creeping feeling of death creeping up on them? I do

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@Former-Member wrote:

Does anyone else feel the slow, creeping feeling of death creeping up on them? I do

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Honestly, yes, I used to. Every moment of the day I felt i was drawing closer to death.

But yes, things changed, and I'm moving in the opposite direction.

Despite things not working for you in the past, I sort of believe that it may not just be the 'thing' that didn't work, but that we weren't right ready for it at that time.

Why I'm saying that is because I had a lot of therapy early on, and it was useless. However, when it came to the point where I just 'needed' the therapy so desperately, I put all my effort in, and there was a different result.

I'm hearing how lonely you feel right now. Please don't give up.

@tyme

ive been in therapy for years, I just want something to show for all the work ive put in. I am so tired and exhausted my life is just slipping and I dont want to talk to professional supports I just want a life where I am appreciated and welcomed. I have never felt like the ever