Never being in a relationship

And no, my brain 'change' didn't actually start until I was about 33 years old. @Former-Member

@tyme

So I was talking to someone on an app, it seemed to be going well. Then as we were trying to organise a date, I opened up and revealed I am neurodivergent and I was immediately unmatched.

I am feeling very vulnerable and rejected. I wads wondering if you had any ideas how to manage this? Rather than me falling into my self-pitying trap.

You know what? It takes a lot to share first go that you are neurodivergent, and in a way, I feel it's better they know early than think you are trying to hide something @Former-Member

You know what it reminds me of? When I've gone for a 'failed' interview. I tell myself that if I don't match their work culture, than I'd rather be sifted out early than be left hanging.

I am neurodivergent and I see people who are neurodivergent. The sugar, spice and colour they add to the world is amazing. You just need honest, special people to see that.

To be honest, I felt very proud of you after reading your post in that you took up the challenge of reflecting on your thinking. This is certainly the beginning of BIG changes.

I'm ready to ride this out with you mate. No turning back now!

@tyme

I am trying different things because it would have been so easy to fall down that trap.

I am trying to frame it in the sense that she is missing out, 100 percent she is. I know I am good enough, I just cant believe how callous one can be.

She is in education too, teaching primary kids. I mean, that is very close minded of her and it just felt so heartbreaking.

Wow @Former-Member ,

That's powerful thinking.

Yes, I believe she is missing out. And, you know what? You are saving yourself future sorrow I reckon.

If she is so close minded now, who knows what the future will be?

Good on you for holding on. I'm so impressed 🙂

I recognise this is a huge switch and change from other possible mindsets and narratives.

My fingers and toes are crossed for you 🙂

@tyme

I think so too, I feel like it’s become a way of filtering people out. My ND is high functioning and some people aren’t aware that I am neurodivergent too so it’s just weird she was like that.

She also has a child too so what happened if her child grows up to become neurodivergent and has ASD/ADHD? Will she run away from them too?

anyways I’m trying to think of different ways to handle this stuff. It helps that I have school today which is a distraction.

i hope this change will lead to some better things for me in the future

I am hopeful things will improve. The previous narrative was, in my opinion, quite off putting and I didn't feel continuing that way would be too helpful as it may strengthen those narratives.

@Former-Member

I'll be happy to ride this out with you 🙂

I am hopeful.

Hey @Former-Member ,

I'm just popping by to say that I'm thinking of you and have a great week ahead. I'll catch you later this week when I'm on next.

@tyme

I am sorry I didn't respond the other day. I am trying to hold on and not rant here. I am just struggling with the same loneliness issues and fear about the future.

That's totally okay @Former-Member . No need to respond when you don't feel you are able to. That's the beaut of this place. You are in control of whether you feel up to posting or not.

I hear what you are saying in terms of the loneliness and pain. Fear for the future is a big thing. I worked on a really helpful skill with my therapist today. It was to close my eyes, start at 31, and visualise the flipping of a calendar, from 31 down to 1.

If that is too easy, then start at 31 and go down by 2s.

The purpose of this task is to allow yourself to 'reset' so you have more clarify of mind instead of being drowned in thoughts that are helpful.

I found this helpful. Not sure if you will.

Just a thought.