Never being in a relationship

I have been trying to date for a decade now, I can barely get on a date and when I do I never get past the first date. I am sick of it and I know I am going to die alone. I hate myself so much

hey @Former-Member so sorry to hear about the ghosting, i understand how painfully annoying and hurtful it can be. at the same time, i think you dodged a bullet here. whenever i've been ghosted i just think 'wow if they couldn't even communicate to me why they've disappeared, do i even want someone like that in my life?' you deserve better than that.

and rejection does NOT mean you're going to be alone forever. i know the wait is frustrating and exhausting, but it's not a reflection of your worth at all. and correct me if i'm wrong but i think you mentioned you were 30? i have a lot of cousins in that age group that haven't had a bf/gf... some not even a first kiss! society just makes it seem like everything has to happen so fast (honestly i blame romance films) but for some, it takes time. you're not alone and you can still find your person, this isn't the end of that journey.

@rav3n its easier said then done. I have been crying all night. all I heard today at work was about relationships as if it's the most normal thing in the world. my heart is stone

@Former-Member i do agree, it is easier said than done. the actual actions of waiting and dating and ignoring romantic standards set my media/society is the hard part. but just because something is hard, doesn't mean you're doomed or its bad. usually things are harder when you're on a journey to find something great. (that sounds cliche but it is true in my experience)

i wish i could click my fingers and make this all easier for you. take it easy tonight, it's okay to feel your feels. it's okay to be upset by this, it is upsetting! but it does NOT mean you're undeserving or destined to be alone. you're not defined by this. sitting with you. 💙

@rav3n or maybe this is an answer to a question I have? maybe its a sign to do what I havent been able to before and ensure the world is never bothered by me again

I hate myself so much there is nothing about myself that is attractive to others. what the actual hell is wrong with me?

Hey @Former-Member ,

That's very harsh to say about yourself.

I can see that you are a very thoughtful person. I can say that you care about people a lot. I can say that you are great at seeing areas to work on.

SANE held a webinar last night on Managing Relationships. Whilst some did not apply to you, some did and I was hoping you connected to it last night @Former-Member I found the content so helpful.

@tyme

I had no idea it was on, I was just staring at the ceiling last night

I try caring about others but I dont feel that is a two way street. All I feel im good at is work and no-one in my life actively tries to get to know me,

You know what @Former-Member ? I'm not a psych, but I feel like your brain is wired to seek evidence of you not being able to be loved, supported, cared for and then it happens, and you say "You see"? Each time it happens, it's a punch in the guts and confirms that you are unlovable and cannot go forward.

You CAN be loved. You CAN be cared for. You CAN be supported.

Please allow yourself say and tell yourself these words.

It's been too long that these unhelpful schemas are ruling your brain.

You are better than that!

Come on mate, tell yourself you CAN!

I'm sorry and apologise in advance if you feel this is pushy. I can remove it. But I genuinely care and feel there IS hope even if you don't feel it right now.