Never being in a relationship

Another exceptionally rough night. Been reading and listening to a lot of stuff about incels it seems to be the only stuff that I can relate to in this current environment.

I feel so sexually frustrated and I worry I am going to hurt myself.

hey @Former-Member i can hear how frustrated you are right now, i'm really sorry you feel this way. i know it can be scary having those thoughts, are you able to stay safe tonight?

it is super important you have the space to talk about those heavier thoughts and feelings, and unfortunately the forums are limited in that so i'd really like to encourage you to call/text a crisis service or 000 if you're feeling unsafe:

• 000 Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
• Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14
• Suicide callback service (24 Hrs) 1300 659 467

you deserve to feel heard and seen. we're sitting with you. let me know if you're able to stay safe, i'm around if you'd like a bit of a distraction too 💗

@rav3n

I just want answers and I dont want to have to keep facing these issues that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis on my own. I feel like everyone around me has this figured out and they dont have to worry about it yet I cant make heads or tails with it.

you know that saying, 'comparison is the thief of joy' ? @Former-Member maybe some of them do have it figured out, maybe they 'think' they do. there's been so many instances where myself and my friends thought we finally had the answers to our problems, only to be faced with another obstacle that made us restart our journey to 'figuring it out'. i know it's super frustrating and overwhelming not having the answers, but i think life isn't about getting to the answer but rather the journey there. we learn the most from every mistake and wrong turn we take, and it brings us a step closer and closer to 'the right path'. it's okay to not have it all figured today, please be kind to yourself. i'm also going to send you a quick email just to check-in.

talking it through with a professional can help you gain you work this out. i think i recall you mentioning that psych sessions were too expensive? (correct me if i'm wrong) there are free services like MensLine and SANE Support Line (counsellors are available Mon-Fri, 10am-8pm) 1800 187 263 who can talk through those issues you're facing.

@rav3n

I do know what you mean and I agree with you. More often then not I dont compare myself to others but I go through phases like today where I just feel so down hearted. I have a colleague of mine who is taking the day off tomorrow to go into the city with her partner and just make a day of it. This where I feel so left out and where I feel there is an entire world out there that is inaccessible to me. That's where I get so sad about this where I am trying os hard but I cannot get anywhere with anyone.

I dont want one off sessions on the phone with someone I will never talk to again. There is so much context to explain that I dont have the time to express everything. I have called services before where they were incredibly unhelpful (most callback services have been on this issue which is why I believe something must be done to help single people deal with these issues. No one has a clue on how to talk about this stuff). [edited by moderator]

oh yeah i hear you on that @Former-Member as much as we can practice being okay on our own, there will be times where that loneliness can hurt. a lot of my friends have entered/are in long-term relationships as well, and i too have felt that ache of feeling left behind. i think in those moments, it's important to have a couple strategies ready - whether that's self-affirmations, talking to someone else, visiting a certain place, going for a walk, etc. whatever helps you. recently for me, i've been watching tv shows and eating comfort food to feel less lonely. do you have anything that's been working for you recently? or maybe something you can try?

i get what you mean about not wanting one-off support, and i'm really sorry to hear your experience with callback services in general haven't been the great. (also just letting you know i've edited out the service name as it's against our guidelines to complain about named services on the forums - we encourage you to send feedback directly to the service instead). do you think talking to a GP and seeing other therapy options are accessible and affordable for you would help? like you mentioned, having that one person that you talk to regularly and work through problems with might give you a different insight.
i do think talking about coping with single is an important topic, and i see you've opened up some discussions on the forum about it too which is amazing. i'm heading off for tonight but i'll be around tomorrow if you'd like to talk more about this. hope you have a restful night 💗

@rav3n

I have never felt this sad in my entire life, all I am surrounded by is vague platitudes and cliches rather than actionable solutions to help me. I feel so miserable and sad.

@rav3n

I have been playing a lot of guitar recently. That helps a bit.

At the moment, even going to the gp is too expensive. Everything is too expensive. Again, this issue is something I have spoken about for years and some people have literally no idea what to say. I honestly dont know how many times I have to explain myself only to get knocked back.

how does anyone deal with this extreme sadness and longing? how does any one manage it? its so painful and heartbreaking I just feel so empty