COME SHARE YOUR PASSION PROJECT

@PeppyPattiPeppyPatti hugs and hugs. sounds like you are in a very vulnerable position. i dont know what to advise but i dont like it one single bit.xxx

I'm very happy I can write about it @tyme

@Bunniekins

My gut instinct is to run away and start again but that's ridiculous. Iv done this myself

And I feel I need to be proactive and change myself.

So she's not done anything bad. She's caring too much out of loneliness. I get it.

My therapist told me ide feel heaps better once I write her a text saying

"thankyou but no thankyou. My coordinator dropped the ball"

but everyone had done this and

I don't want to see her until iv had a few months just working with a drawing master and when I can pay her

But I feel this is a cop out too.

It's become very murky very quickly and I'm best ( Mr Rocker says) doing nothing and just see what happens.

Also I'm pretty sick I might end up staying in bed until hospitalization for some medical problems............

What you think ??

@PeppyPatti i think you have to look after you first. do what makes you feel comfortable. im a great one to talk cauz i am great at doing nothing and waiting till it explodes in my face. honestly though you have to be a bit selfish and look after yourselfxx

@PeppyPattiPeppyPatti when i say selfish i mean it in a good way there is nothing wrong with looking after your own needs first.

so today I texted her and told her I'm picking up my own son from the airport when he arrives.

She was running around with me telling every Tom and Harry that because my relationship has been tough with my son for so many years she was going to drive me to the airport to get my son.

I need this dealt with immediately without her feelings in anyway bad because she is doing a very caring job.

But yes I don't know how to move forward.

It clearly sounds like you are feeling uncomfortable with the service your carer is providing @PeppyPatti . It doesn't mean they are 'bad', but that in your gut, you feel that something is not right.

I wonder if they are soothing themselves by helping you and that's why they are sticking around? At the same time, the goal of NDIS supports is to encourage your independence - not make you reliant on supports when you don't need it.

It is hard to 'cut it off', but it may be harder to have them there.

I feel you know what you want/need to do, but you just don't know how? Is that fair to say?

On a professional level, I can see how they are overstepping the boundaries.

However, whatever you decide to do, we are here to support you.

Yes but she's a very kind person who I need to be completely honest with.

Iv wanted to be honest with her and if this is what I want I must do this. However Im mindful of what @Bunniekins wrote which is to be selfish.

And @tyme messages about her crossing boundaries which I truly believe she is doing. I was really ill last night and this morning I. just gave her my mobile and read my therapists email that said that too.

I want to be honest with you. I've been going through a really tough time lately with my health, and iv been in bed all afternoon realising iv been acting badly. I've got to admit with shame I've been sharing a lot more personal information than I'm usually comfortable with, and it's made me feel vulnerable. It's not a reflection on you at all, but rather something I'm realizing about myself and how I cope with stress. I do this and then end up in bed freaking out. I don't have girlfriends and this is why. Because of this, I need to take a step back and focus on my own well-being for a while. I won't be able to have a carer at the moment. I really appreciate your understanding.
This is the only way I can move forward with you. One person I know speaks confusingly about her carers because the main one knows her and she's very vulnerable andI don't want that with us.

Hey @PeppyPatti ,

Thank you for sharing. I hear this is a huge step for you, and we are here to support you.

Hope you are okay. We're here if you need a chat.

Dear @tyme

Thankyou, it's been great to get your support and @Bunniekins @rav3n @avant-garde @Glisten

It's been a worry because well if someone said to me ' Your being full on give me space"

Ide be completely fine with that.

felt overwhelmed yesterday, I wanted to tell her to get lost and process for opening myself up so big.

told her I had contacted my therapist and coordinator ide given her some money to fill up her tank with petrol but I didn't have any money to give her more........

And I gave her my therapists answer just to read.

She was very quiet yesterday - she was saying she was going to do all this stuff without being paid for me. I don't want her to go but I didn't want this to happen.

She kept on saying she never speaks about me.

And she rang this morning. I said I had something to say to her but I didn't want her to get upset but I felt very vulnerable around her.

She said after much thought she will not be seeing me unless she is being paid. She wasn't lonely like my therapist said or breaking boundaries like my therapist said.

I completely agreed with her, I said that my therapist is a flawed person with her own problems -

But I kind of used my therapist - who she really dislikes.

Wow. I'm so lucky I can use my therapist and tell my carer how much more intelligent she is than my therapist.

But out of it

I got what I wanted which was not to see her unless she was being paid.

Learn how to hold back a bit, not to be so vulnerable and trigger her into bad behaviour of breaking boundaries over me who doesn't need that.

However I have been guilty of this. I have over cared as well

Hey @PeppyPatti ,

Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you took this step.

As I said before, I don't think it's about the money necessarily, but I feel 'getting paid' actually sets the scene and enforces boundaries - even if we don't think it does.

As soon as someone isn't getting paid, boundaries are blurred.

In a way, it wasn't a 'good bye'. It was that you want to ensure she is getting what she rightly deserves - right? (And you are getting space).

In life, people always want 'free' stuff, but it's not always a blessing... right?

Do you feel okay with how this was managed? It may still be a little raw tonight, but hopefully after a period of time, you can reflect on it a bit more.

Hugs to you.