New therapist

@Former-Member oh wow, amazing! It sounds like she was really receptive to your input, definitely a good sign. When do you see her next?

Due to the time of the year, I will next see my therapist on 10 January with next 2 sessions already booked in at 2 weekly intervals.

@Jynx I walked in feeling angry which, sad to say, gave me my voice to say I was ready to walk out and never come back and that will do exactly that if things head down the path where they have been.

@Jynx Have appointment with my local dr on Friday, going to be asking for referral to different psychiatrist.

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@Former-Member wrote:

@Jynx I walked in feeling angry which, sad to say, gave me my voice to say I was ready to walk out and never come back and that will do exactly that if things head down the path where they have been.

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Just curious, why is it 'sad to say' that you felt and expressed your anger?

@Former-Member @Jynx I only found my voice when angry and/or defensive too then even if it turned out to have a good/helpful outcome I felt guilty and ashamed.

I've made an appt to see my gp about finding another psychologist or maybe trying a mental health social worker.

Yeah for sure @Dimity it's soooo hard not to automatically feel ashamed when we get angry and express it. Such an awful thing that a completely natural and normal emotion becomes so complex due to stigma and social narratives. To me, that's exactly the time we NEED to be angry - when we are fighting to get our needs met!!

TW

It's worse if/when ferocious punishment results @Jynx

@Jynx That things had got to a point I felt I had no other option.

It felt wrong. I felt I was having to defend my right to get what I want and need.

try so hard not to verbalise my anger to others. Reminds me too much of what my dad was like

Totally @Dimity it's such a natural and normal part of being human, but one that is also frequently met with punishment and shame!!

Which is kinda why I wanted to unpack that with you a little @Former-Member - just checking in if you're shaming yourself for having Big Feelings!! Sounds like it's more that you're saying it's unfortunate that things had to get to that point in the first place.

@Jynx I’m slowly getting used to not being afraid to use my emotions in public. Have only recently become comfortable with crying when at home when I need to.