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Father's Day grief

Father's Day grief

My Dad died on Christmas day last year, so I am going through the 1st of everything without him 😭

I am no stranger to loss, so I roughly knew what to expect. Except for the fact that the loss of a parent is far greater for me that the loss of my partner.

My Dad was my go to person for any advise and he was always there with his arms open wide. I didn't realise until after he passed, that he had some of the same issues that I have been struggling with since my childhood. And unfortunately he didn't seek help, or even realise why he was the way he was. But it all makes sense to me now.

But since it is Father's Day on Sunday, I am constantly being reminded of his loss every time I see or hear a Father's Day advertisement.

My sister is going all out and buying a cake and getting balloons, and she will be putting his scattering tube on the table with his balloons 🍰🎈

And my mum has written a poem for him. She read it to me a couple of days ago, and it is the first time I have heard the emotion and sadness in her voice since he passed. I think she is at the next stage, acceptance that she will not see him again, until it is her time to go ☹️

It has made me think, that in this day and age with targeted advertising, why can't they create an app or something where we can select what sort of advertising we don't want to see on our devices, so I don't have to get constantly triggered.

Kindest regards

😊🌹🌻🌷

33 replies

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In response to: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

Sometimes I don't feel strong at all @tyme. I have spent so much time being a mess when depressed and blocking the world out. But I do seem to get over it and then continue treatment or find a new workshop to do, to help build my knowledge of why I suffer like I do, and what skills I can learn to make my life more bearable.

Many people tell me that I am strong, but most days don't see that.

In response to: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

Hi @tyme @I am giving my Mum and 2 sisters these little presents for Father's Day. I also purchased one for myself.

 

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

Awwww. That's lovely @Mustang67

Hold them close to your heart.

In response to: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

Hi @Mustang67, I'm sorry about your father, and it's totally understandable how it must be especially hard at this time of year. Especially with all the advertising we get bombarded with... of course with no regard for the many people who would find it difficult.

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

@MJG017 And unfortunately since my Dad died on Christmas Day, it will make anything relating to the follow up to Christmas also hard to see and deal with. I don't even want to celebrate Christmas anymore.

But when it is my Dad's birthday in November, the family are all going out to lunch at a place near the beach that has my Dad's name in the business name. We want to celebrate the life that he had and obviously still remember him.

In response to: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

@Eve7 Thank you for your support. You don't need to say anything, your support is enough.

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

@Mustang67 It's totally understandable that Christmas day and that time will be hard for you to enjoy with all the memories it will bring. The lunch in November sounds like a wonderfully loving way to all get together and honour and remember him.

We're all here for you as Christmas gets closer and you want some company to help you through. ❤️

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

@MJG017 thank you so much for your support it means a lot 😊

But I need to get better at communicating when my mood starts to move in a downward direction. As this is when I shut the whole world out. But in fact is exactly the right time to reach out for support. So I am making this something I need to work on.

I hope your having a pleasant day 🤗

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

@Mustang67 It sounds like something we both have trouble with then. I do exactly the same thing When I start to struggle, the first thing I do is withdraw from everyone and everything.

In response to: Re: Father's Day grief

Re: Father's Day grief

Me three @MJG017 @Mustang67 . That WAS my go to.

If I had a had a choice to do what felt most comfortable, I would still do it, but because I know it's not good for my MH, I am quiet for a short time, but then I push on.

It's not easy, but I found it works so I can maintain my MH.

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