Going down

Ah, I hear you @destructive getting to the heart of what's going can be very vulnerable. It's true the more we share, the more we risk being hurt. Do you feel that it's threatening in this way, or are you feeling a different kind of threat?

• @Ru-bee different. I have one voice in particular that becomes more nasty the more I share about them and .. hard to explain.. but easiest way is that it's like a movie they show me. Its not the only one that doesn't like me talking but it's the most threatening and I think maybe influences the other voices "parts" to be worried and shut down too. Its that one that is the worst with self harm and other bad things. So it feels like a physical threat. And sometimes I try not let that bully me but if I don't then it feels like I end up doing whatever they want anyway but worse.. which is why I try negotiate and do other things. When I was younger I was diagnosed with schizophreniform and I don't think I'm psychotic but sometimes I feel real crazy.

That would be quite frightening @destructive to experience this threatening voice. Have you ever been able to tell your therapist about this voice?

@Ru-bee yes, she does.

It can be real scary. At the moment I'm a bit worried. And it's hard because it's not like a violent relationship with a person that I could try get away from. Its me. Its inside me. Sometimes I try and negotiate to lessen it but then I feel like I zone out and it ends up worse. That can be scary.

Does anyone know of like someone, a line or something I can talk to that does just feel like a robot and want to straight away send someone to hospital. I don't need hospital right now but I need help with something but any other helpline/chat ive used havent really helped because I think it feels so scripted

hey @destructive i hear you, having a 'robotic' response to makes it feel invalidating 😕

have you tried these crisis services before? i haven't tried these ones myself so i can't speak on behalf of them - and sometimes it's a bit of a hit or miss, fingers crossed you're paired with someone who's validating next time you call.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

Beyond blue: 1300 22 4636 or chat online

Mindspot: 1800 61 44 34

just wanted to check-in as well, are you feeling safe tonight?

Thanks @rav3n

Ive tried the chat/online ones.. which probably doesn't help with that feeling but I get too anxious to speak, especially on the phone.

I also get nervous that they're just trying decide it the call an ambulance or not which I know is not helpful for me.

Its about thought about self harm, not suicide. I have those too most the time but more worried about the first and need someone to help me know how to avoid that because it would be bad. I know it sounds strange because I don't want to do it so should be able to just not do it, but it doesn't work that way.

Sorry if this is saying too much here. I don't want to upset or trigger anyone

Hey @destructive ,

I'm hearing you. Self-Harm can be a tricky thing. I wonder if this fact sheet is helpful?

From my experiences, self harm was a coping strategy. I hope you can find things that can replace the self-harm but give the same release/outcome. These are called replacement behaviours.

thanks @tyme it's complicated

Please know you are not alone @destructive