I in need

Hi @Matt12

Is it the depression @Matt12? What is happening - is there anything worrying you that you feel you can't cope with? We are here for you if you want to talk. If it gets really bad please ring Lifeline or visit your emergency dept. Hang in there my friend there is help out there and you will find it. Don't hesititate to reach out to someone. We are here for you. Please keep posting. Sending warm hugs xx You are not alone

Hi @Matt12

Just checking in to see how you're travelling today.

One of our mods emailed you last night to see if we could assist in any way - I'm not sure if you got it or if you had logged off by that time.

I hope things are looking up a little today.

We're always here if you need us.

Take care.

Hi @Matt12 - also checking in with the lovely @NikNik to see how you are going?. How are you feeling today? Would love a short message from you - just a word even will do, just to hear from you would be great. Please know that you matter to many and we will always be here for you. Please know that I can relate to your struggle and that you are not alone. We care and understand what you are going through.

Remember this too shall pass and in time you will feel better and will reach that place you want to be - having peace of mind, feeling normal. I promise you. Reaching out to you with a big, warm hug 🤗

Thanks for your support..woke up today "put my work hat ON" did deals sorted out issues solved other peoples proplems and now crying, just sick of the consent pressure, its like someone has hands on me pushing me down, we all have expectations and responsibilities to deliver, need to get help and have been through the system and BSA them all, find it very difficult to say how it is to anyone.

Hello @Matt12

I read your post and thought yes it is very hard to even start the process of getting help.

when the depression takes hold it grips so tightly and everything is so dark.

as hard as it is let those tears come, cry and sob, talk to the wall. I talk to the wall, shout at it.

After releasing some of the heavy, weighed down emotions, even though you feel as though you have been run over by a steam roller, you might still be aware that the heaviness is not gripping as tightly.

make an appointment with your gp. do you like your gp? does he or she listen or are they a "what is wrong today" type on computer screen, write you a script end of session type of gp? Some clinics have the mentality of get everyone in and out as quickly as possible. stats and targets similar to corporations.

if you dont like your gp change them. I have done. have you had the 12month plan with psychologist yet? or have you seen a psychiatrist? if they havent worked it is just that the two personalities did not gel, or their kind of treatment, approach not for you. keep changing and let your gp know.

keep writing on here, write whatever you want, dont worry about correcting!!! you should read some of the dribble i have written. Getting it out of your system on paper or on here does help.

lastly please dont stop believing in yourself. your self-esteem has probably plummeted. you can get that back. for now cry, cry, cry, write, write, write. go to gp..............................

Hi, my gp told me if I dont get it right this year I am stuffed...dont have an issues with this as I need to make positive changers that relate to recovery and mental heath....being trying for years, so the deal is I manage my "head' the way I have done all along, thats ok ..means isolating my self to live a life of percetion not from reality but my "head'...sounds wrong but it works for me..lost my family and my diginty..this is very hard when you are pushing up a hill for years and told your have "issues" .living with a mental "issue" is like get over it and move on....well I will not..open to new ideas and process but....catch the vision or catch the bus.!!!! been wating for my bus for years just got the wrong ticket..

hello @Matt12 @NikNik

I am reading that you have so much going on in your head and that you are trying to find you in their somewhere whilst at the same time keeping up the "work you".

Wrong buses,wrong doors opened, wrong forks in the road taken. yes more to contend with. setbacks. life.

personally rather than giving up on yourself I would give up on your doctor. His duty of care is where??

have you ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist? not sure if you have written about before. not doing too well following stuff on here.

i have experienced some dreadful doctors, one actually said to me "I do have other patients waiting to see me". I had been in there barely 5 minutes while she busily typed away on the computer the whole time.

I have lived with my stuff for a very long time, have moved and had to seek out new help. That is one thing that I learnt the hard way. I do need that support. So please dont give up because there are still some very good doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists out there.

My Psychologist cant work me out... said "I am a survivor" and has referred me to a sinor Psychiatrist to assess the head, the "Dr" has mixed reviews and while I am no einstein, the fact I am writing this means my self management has been suscessfull MOST of the time, open to help thats why I am hear !!

Understand no fix for all but....very tied of the weight over the years..cheers