Same old

sorry @Former-Member i know you must feel pressured to write back to me... you don't have to. i dont know why i dont tend to get responses from people but dont feel like you have to. you've had enough going on. i really dont want to be a burdon to you or anyone.

nobody has to reply it i dont want to be a pain on here. someone wrote a while ago about how some people get lots of respnse and feedback but i think its just me and its not that i havent got responses i know i have in the past. people are probably just over 'same old' stuff with me i guess its fine.

@Former-Member I write back because I want to. I just get scared sometimes that I'm making it worse for you. And when I'm in this headspace I want to be there for you but in a good way and not make it worse. I don't think it's you at all, I just think your situation is really complex. I also don't know if you've noticed but there is hardly anyone responding to posts much at the moment. There are a few where there has been a good connection with similar diagnosis but that's been it mainly, so please don't think it's you.

Ill check in on you tomorrow. In the meantime promise me you'll try to rest and find some calm. I hope @Faith-and-Hope comes back on because I know she'll come from a different angle too which might help a bit. 💜🤗

sorry, feeling very embarrassed and awful now.

Okay ,,,,, There is clearly something that has happened that has caused a bit of a scandal ..... perhaps more than a bit ....

Scandals come, and they go ..... like tides coming in at the beach and receding again .... and this tide is yours .... tomorrow there will be one concerning someone else .... and nobody is immunune, so they're pretty silly if they get all smug and "holier than thou" about it.

Next .... when the tide has receded, what stands out is integrity ..... truth and integrity don't stay buried .... they shine .... and what is that Taylor Swift song again ?

"People throw rocks at things that shine,"

Nothing is more powerful in the wake of a scandal than someone who was innocent but presumed guilty, and then their innocence became obvious .... not only leaves those who judged them looking stoopid .... it also leaves them feeling guilty .... they will be in awe of you.

Not only that, but not everybody judges. Some will be respecting your privacy and stand back to give you space. Others will be cheering for you quietly. Others still will be sticking up for you in gossip circles in a way that you may never find out about. Nothing is ever black and white, but at times our mind will try to convince us that they are .... there will be emapthetic people in your community - especially those who know you, and know what your value system is .... even if the situation appears confusing at first.

And as they know you, people know your ex as well, and what his ilk is .... (assuming here that the issue involves him).

Can you try to isolate your professional persona, and wear it like a bit of a shield to go into work ? Can you bung in some warhorse attached to your phone and pretend to listen to music as you walk around the facility, if you don't feel like actually turning on the music ? That can also work like a bit of a social shield (what are all the teens doing ??)

Can you dress differently for work, so you can "take work off" at the end of the day, and "put work on" to go to work in the morning ?

I hope something in this mixed-bag response helps you @Former-Member ....

Walking with you ... be brave minute to minute .... you have a warrior in you somewhere to have had this much fortitude ..... and when you are not having to be brave, have a good cry ..... ❣

💜💐💕🌷

Try not to focus on those sort of feelings @Former-Member .... it's human to feel vulnerable, and you are in a very vulnerable place right now, but it will change. Hang in there sweetheart. You don't deserve this.

💜💕

I have had kids go through surgery, D2 multiple times .... I know that wait .... feeling for you there too ....

Ummm .... "warhorse" was supposed to be earphones ....

@Former-Member

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I hope that people can move on from what they've heard. i just dont feel able to get through it. i'm being supported as much as people can, psych has said similar to you but this situation is just crap and awful. every time i turn around there's soething 'new'. i thought i could handle it after getting through chrismtas and it being 'old news' so to speak but now its all been made fresh again and theres probably more to come. i dont have many friends so theres really not a lot of 'support'... psych says those who know me know who i am and know the truth etc but they are few. i just have no hope for me to ever move on from this. its not something people who know me in any capacity will forget. i cant imagine going back to work. my boss hasnt contacted me at all. its jsut all too much.

lj

Please don't feel bad about anything @Former-Member, you haven't done anything wrong. I know right now you will struggle to read or believe what @Faith-and-Hope wrote but at the very least please try to have faith that it could be true. These concepts 'faith' and 'hope' were beyond me before but the forum namesake of them has taught me a lot about them. However when I'm in a really bad place I lose them and they get eaten up by the negativity and the overwhelm.

You have been in a losing battle of late with your ex but there are heros in losing battles too. I really believe like @Faith-and-Hope said if you stay true to your values and live your life with integrity you'll be the winner too and your kids will have had the best role model for resilience and integrity.

I hope you are ok. Thinking of you 💜🤗

Sorry @Former-Member i was taking a long time to post and missed yours. Can you be pro active and make an appointment with your boss. Please please believe that any rumours can be overcome but they take time. There were two of us that it happened to in the same week. Both have settled and come back to normal lives but it does take time and people look for actions to get passed the rumours. If you are not looking like doing any of the actions they are looking for they have no evidence. Please know we moved on from one of the worst rumours you could think of.