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New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

What a week this has been 😞

Not sure where to start here, after being absent for a while, I checked in a month or so ago to report that everything was our version of steady. My period of not checking in was purely a lack of capacity after returning to full time employment while still in a caring role. Operating at above 100% capacity. Primarily supporting my Darling who lives with BPD, (Seeking support for my Darling is how I found the forums) , S1 with an intellectual disability, S3 with ASD and FIL.

Well, last week the status has changed again with the passing of my father-in-law,

It has occurred to me that for the past couple of years our lives have revolved around Dad,

And I am ok with that, he is totally worthy of that. He has been a significant support over many years to our family.

The point of this is that I now need to be intentional in how I fill that void, I need to stay glued for my family to function. Darling now more than ever needs my support to adjust to life without her Dad.

And my children who adored their grandad.

Thinking about some goals for self care and interested in other peoples strategies.

It has occurred to me that I perhaps have not been looking after myself as well as I should have despite convincing myself I am ok.

I have been added to a waiting list for a grief and loss course through carer gateway.
I received an email seeking expressions of interest the morning after Dad passed.

This will be a good start.

Things that I want to achieve included

- Better diet

- More consistent exercise (Cycling)

- Time out with Darling, return to our motorcycle adventures that ceased when Dad went into care.

- Complete an NDIS review for S1 to get supports for independent living so I can relinquish some micro managing to better qualified people.

- Some self paced study.

- Gardening and home maintenance. Have big plans for the garden that is in a state of disrepair.

- Generally being more chilled and present for my family.

78 replies

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In response to: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

@Shaz51

Does that diagnosis help in informing supports or just one more thing to think about.

How are you travelling now.

It has been a while but I have been treading water and not had the chance to get on here. Have some time now to focus on self care, engaging with sane is part of that strategy.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Does that diagnosis help in informing supports or just one more thing to think about.

@Determined , just one more to think about

but I can see the diagnosis of adhd and Asd in all my stepchildren at different degree

s

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Self care win today.

Turned a short walk into a long walk.

Dropped car to mechanic and walked home taking a longer more scenic route.

There were some garden plans but that was a fail. Will be next week before I get a chance to revisit that.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Some more exercise self.care today.

Short spin on a cycle trainer just to get some o2 and blood circulation happening.

Coffee out with my Darling while car was getting some maintenance.

Starting to untangle and feel more relaxed.

Still a fail on the garden front.

Walk outside take a look and it all falls into the too hard basket at the moment.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

20 years ago today since my Dad passed.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

So with all of the rain we are having the self care goals of exercise and yard work have been a complete fail. It has been an opportunity for some forces rest though so possibly a good thing.

While outwardly darling is doing ok she is really not ok. Her GP has enacted a safety plan. Including closing check-ins from 4 weeks to 2 weeks. And given me specific instructions around making our environment safe relevant to areas of risk.

Risk of self harm currently accessed as moderate to high.

For me it is so much more alarming when we are appearing to be grounded and together but so broken on the inside.

All being well I hope to have some more work in the near future which should relieve some pressure around financial security.

But will take me away from home so a 2 edge coin.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Hello @Determined and sending you lots of hugs my friend

With all the rain we are having here and my husband having adhd/ asd is making him having cabin fever

Went for a drive yesterday to get out of the house

We left at 9 am and finally got home at 4pm

I was sooooo very tired

@tyme , @rav3n , @Healandlove , @8ppleTree

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

My heart goes out to you @Determined . I know how much you care about your loved one. Please look after yourself too and know we are walking alongside you the whole way.

With all my BPD-ing, I found the road to recovery. I am no better than anyone else. I hope and pray that your darling also finds that road.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Oh! I didn't know your hubby likes being out @Shaz51 . For some reason, I thought he just likes staying at home.

In response to: Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

Re: New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

@tyme , he has his moments where he just wants to go somewhere

Yesterday he wanted to find the same waterfall he took a photo of years ago but we could not find the waterfall which made him. Low

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