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Red's house

Red's house

Hi, I haven't been here consistently for a little while. Shutting myself off felt safer. I was formed after being suicidal last month. I needed to remove myself from online worlds for my safety and that of others. I'm doing better now, I'm just stressed out.

I enrolled myself to full time study at tafe in a few weeks. Getting that all done pushed me to my limits. But im looking forward. I have dreams. I have hopes. I have desires.

I want to pursue my business and my art talents. I will be doing a cert iv in business to give myself the skills to thrive in this. I want to have a future, which is great but scary. It gives the opportunity for failure. But also success. I got this.

Breathe, Red, breathe, create you're safe place. This thread I'll be hanging out more and try not to be too down or hard for myself. If anyone wants to hang out at my place they are always welcome.

There's always tea and coffee, with biscuits if desired. In this winter the fire is on and we can Chillax

508 replies

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In response to: Red's house

Re: Red's house

@Just so true.

I'm just overwhelmed with regret. What I did is potentially damaging to my health and my future.

But I can't really blame myself for being tired and being tired of a failing system.

I just hope it doesn't backfire.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

I stayed at my "grandparents" over the weekend. I had a good time.

I'm regretting what happened last week. There is a massive chance I'll get a big infection though... 😞 sigh I'm so stupid sometimes

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

I hope you will seek the medical attention you need @The-red-centaur

Take care.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

I'm sick now 😞 my asthma has made a return and I'm tired.

Also I have a draft of my timetable and I'll be there Monday to Thursday.

Seriously what have I got myself into.....

Sigh I can't breathe ATM and I feel like my I'm making a big mistake with life. Why have hopes and dreams when they are unachievable.

Most of my therapists and supports don't work Fridays. Do I just stop them all for 6 month? Or do I just skip too much class....argh I'm stressed and confused.

I need a rest right now. Before I spiral into more of a mess

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

Draft timetable @The-red-centaur ?

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

A copt of draft timetable of my classes for my business course at tafe. @tyme

I start in less than 2 weeks.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

Oh!!!! How exciting!

@The-red-centaur

I recognise it can be daunting too. But it sounds like business is something you are interested in.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

@tyme for probably the first time in my life. I have a strong desire for my future.

I am passionate about my art and want to turn it into something. Studying business is one step I'm doing to pursue my goals.

I want to turn my life around. I don't want to spend my life wishing for the day it ends. For the little bit of hope that it can be different from the strong narrative that has followed me around previously. I'm not saying it isn't hard for me, but I'm saying I'm at that tipping point where a future can be made.

Art is my life and my life doesn't have to end anymore.

I still get so unstable bit I have a reason to work through it now.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

So proud of you @The-red-centaur .

What a story of recovery. I acknowledge there's still a way to go, but at least you have something to look ahead to.

In response to: Re: Red's house

Re: Red's house

*hides in closet* I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. Nothing can get me here. Breathe.

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