Red's house

Hi @The-red-centaur this must be really isolating not being understood or heard by those around you.

It sounds like these thoughts piling up are becoming a bit overwhelming, and I get that it can be hard to articulate what's going on internally sometimes, but if it's something you're able to talk about here then we're here to listen.

I feel sad, this house I just moved into the owners are selling soon. (My ndis company has it on lease) I just moved I don't want to move again.

I'm also struggling with finding rest. I can't sleep or switch off. I feel in flight mode all the time and constantly restless. I feel stuck, I don't know if I can't keep up this face I feel like I have to wear.

Oh no, that's really frustrating hearing that you're going to need to move again so soon @The-red-centaur. I hope it's not too soon so that you get a bit of down time, but anticipating an upcoming move can be stressful too.

I'm wondering what you feel like would happen if you didn't keep up that face?

@Ru-bee I'm sorry I never replied. I just don't know.

I don't know how say 'help'

Today is a 5 year anniversary of a major suicide attempt that left me permanently and significantly disabled.

As much as I acknowledge how far I've come in those 5 years. It still hits me that my life doesn't feel worth it, that I don't think they should have bothered with saving my life, then and even now I don't think people should care about my life, I'm worthless useless and sick. And a leach on the government and social services.

Hey @The-red-centaur ,

I'm sorry to hear this is how you are feeling. It sounds like a very difficult time for you.

At the same time, we recognise your growth as well and your ambitions in terms of what you are wanting to achieve in life.

I hear how hard it is for you.

Please know you are not alone.

sitting with you @The-red-centaur and sending you lots of hugs my wonderful friend xx

@tyme my emotions are all over the place. I'm trying to allow space for all the different thoughts and feelings.

It's just my life changed forever because of that moment. But I wouldn't be where I am recovery wise if I didn't happen. I am trying to remember that I am not the same person I was then.

I am proud of myself. I've overcome a lot. But I'm also tired and worn out from trying and still trying to find my worth in everything

I am proud of myself, --- we are so proud of you too @The-red-centaur 😍

and we still have all the emotions which still comes ups

keep on keeping on my friend xx

I hear you @The-red-centaur .

I like the way you put it in that if it didn't happen, you wouldn't be where you are, recovery wise.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a purpose, and we just gotta move with it. I don't want to feel invalidated though, and I hear how much you have battled.

You are a fighter.