Time away from forums

@creative_writer for sure hun, it's a lot! I've always felt the universe had a rather ironic sense of timing 😂

Huh that's interesting, I wonder why the binaural sounds don't work for you... Shrug! Could be all sorts of reasons, humans are funny like that. Glad the breathwork is helpful though! I've always found so too.

Aye, it's natural to have some trepidation and concern about the impacts. I try to also remind myself that even if it does all go wrong, I will still find my way through it, as I have before. But honestly, I think you're gonna be okay. Every day you're developing new approaches, honing your regulatory skills, and learning about how your work will interplay with your recovery. You could look at it as just being like an 'info-gathering phase' or something, which will hopefully help you map out your next steps after graduation for both career and for recovery. Just a thought 😉

@creative_writer always a bit of a roll of the dice eh? I hope the binaural sounds regain their effectiveness soon!

Would it encourage you to know that I have now been in a relationship with one of my partners for over two years, and we've had sex so little that I can count it on one hand? Or that one of my other partners and I were 'on again, off again' with our sexual relationship, and are quite content no longer including it going forward?

Don't ever let the media, your family, or anyone else, tell you that there's only one acceptable way to be in an intimate relationship. Queerplatonic relationships exist, I'm in several of them, and they are fulfilling, mutual, and perfectly satisfying without us having to adhere to anyone else's idea of what an intimate relationship is.

This is also why I find Relationship Anarchy (short intro here if you're curious, and a bit more info here) to be such a big part of my value system. Basically it's the idea that the ONLY two people who get to define a relationship are the people in it. It's also my way of getting as far away from toxic monogamy culture* as I can. I really detest the idea that we need to hierarchically label people, like 'this person is my partner, they are obliged to fulfill all of my social, emotional and sexual needs. But this person is JUST a friend, so they're not as important and I should prioritise them less." It's such BS too because it sets up this idea that a romantic partner should somehow be able to fulfill all our needs, but no single person can do that. Which to me is one of the factors that paves the way for emotional abuse - this idea that 'you complete me' or 'I only need you'.

*This is toxic monogamy culture:

Okay... rant over 😅 Sorry, I just... this was my wound too. I never ever thought anyone would be able to love me, or give me what I need in a relationship. Now I have several someones who do, and I know you will someday too. That's not to say that you need to practice relationship anarchy yourself if it doesn't resonate, nor am I saying that you need to be non-manogamous! Just looking to inspire some hope 💜

I wonder if you are actively 'trying too hard' to rid yourself of the thoughts and in turn end up thinking about them more? This was something my psych pointed out about me and my thinking patterns @creative_writer

I'm wondering if that is part of the vicious cycle of thinking. You 'want' to wash it off, yet you can't, and hence you feel like you aren't good enough?

I wonder if the work is more around radical acceptance? To accept (not condone) the things that we cannot change as a way of moving forward @creative_writer ?

You deserve to give yourself a break.