over it

Not sure if this will be helpful @younglawyer, but I found early in my MI crisis that I had a habit of never saying, 'no' to more responsibility and helping others. And because self care was the last thing on my list I had to learn how to prioritise it as a matter of life and death (with suicidal ideation from overwhelm).

To begin with I stuffed up badly by telling everybody to 'f off and leave me alone' or words to that effect! People don't like that, for some reason.........

But with too much on my plate, I gradually learned the skill of discernment, with self care further up the list. And saying 'no' was an important part of that. "No thank you. I'm sorry but I will not be able to attend. I'm not going to make that deadline, can we please reschedule." All that stuff. Not procrastination, not laziness, just discernment.

Conscientious people can get caught up in the 'so much to do, so little time' vortex that leads to burn out and overwhelm. Re-evaluating when 'no' is an option might be worth some thought.

And you know what happens if we don't do the thing we are pushing ourselves to do? NOTHING. Nothing happens. The consequences of not doing it are not what we imagine they will be as we whip ourselves into a frenzy of 'doing'.

hello @Former-Member @younglawyer

I think that each and everyone of us is different in our personalities, character, illnesses, life experiences.

all of these mixed together make the person.

therefore noone knows what it is like for the individual suffering,

others on here have their own lived experiences and respond in their own way.Some people sound as though they are trying to advise, others say they can relate, others talk about their own issues.

each and everyone of us respond differently.

Mostly that is because we care, we are concerned, we know what it is like to have our own pain, not your pain.

We all hope for you some relief, help, compassion,companionship.

so please keep writing on here when you are able. You have so little time for you. Value your time for you because that is where you will find the road to recovery.

Last but not least believe in yourself and never ever let go of that no matter how strong the pain.

i am reaching out and holding you in my thoughts. Being held takes us back to safer times.

Stay safe and remember you are held by others reading your thoughts too.

For me and my type of depression, medication is the only thing that helps, I have seen psychologists extensively and always left feeling worse than when I went in, but in my experience gp's have little knowledge of mental illness medication, psychiatrists are able to offer many more options, I used to be against medication when I was in the early stages of diagnosis, but when they work well, they can really help, yes they can have problems, reactions, side effects, which I have had also, but I think it is worth using them, It is a pity we can not discuss medication here, I believe it could be helpful

I recognise the value of them. The one the psychiatrist prescribed was a old medication that took a few months to work .I was on it for over a year and went off it when I moved house for the first time in 43 years due to being busy.I moved as part of the idea put forward by my mental health nurse to "change my life"- I didn't change it for the better,changed it for the worse,then told to go back on them but in my mind they were part of my destruction,"false hope".To me when life got that bad,there was no hope in taking a "happy pill"because it wasn't the answer to my problems.The psychologist and doctor said they would help,but when you feel you have nothing left,you can't see it,I felt I was in a no win situation.When you give up on yourself,after seeking help and putting trust into these so called "professionals" putting faith in a pill seems so hopeless.

hello @younglawyer

I have read the other threads about how you "really need to be listened to, to be heard."

I have had major depression and major anxiety for a long time and have had exactly those thoughts which i had expressed over and over.

I thought in saying really need to be listened to, to be heard, would make the feelings go away.

I kept on bringing that up in therapy, crying, getting annoyed, saying the same session after session with my psychiatrist. The feeling of not getting the message across was so strong.

One session I walked in sat down on the edge of the chair (now I am quiet, softly spoken) and assertively announced "I strongly need you to listen to what I have to say, this is very important to me and I must say this" He almost jumped to attention - i got his attention - undivided attention. he let me talk without interruption. i cant remember about what, the important part was the above message.

In a long winded way, as usual, (i write as my thoughts flow because i have to, my head is chaotic and cannot rationally reduce, condense and articulate as i can when i am well).

I realised something that day, I am the one who needs to make people hear me, listen to me. i have perhaps obstructed this from occurring without knowing - brick wall - safety mechanism - insecurity.

i had to keep on being assertive. to me my voice sounded strained, i felt as though i was shouting. i asked my doctor, my husband, my sister, their answers were all ... no..

i learnt that i had been stopping people from listening to me all of my life to protect the frightened little girl who felt so alone.

it is very hard work, it takes time, lots of practice. I have been assertive always but not persisted in being heard. It is a skill, a balance between talking, ignoring rudeness, ignorance and listening gracefully.

so regardless of the specialist, if they are good, they will listen. you have to keep telling them how important that is to you. emphasise the importance of that feeling.

the fact that you have written on here tells me that you have already started so i hear you loud and clearly, keep going, keep telling your specialist and if they respond with "yes you keep saying that, what are you trying to tell me" your answer the feeling behind those words is so powerful, overbearing.

it is draining, hard work but so important in valuing yourself.

i keep these conversations for my counsellor. my my family dont get it. that is alright how can they, they dont have mental illness. I have also learnt, that because they love me, they worry, it hurts them, so i am careful what i say. This is why good specialists work.

Hello @younglawyer, thinking of you today , hope you are ok xx

Hello @Grasshopper3, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @getbetter