over it

every morning i wake up and I feel angry, angry that I am still alive. I called in sick to work this morning and went back to sleep. I think there was a part of me that was hoping I would get a second chance of dying in my sleep or something...

I hate my job but can't afford to quit and can't find anything else. I've isolated myself from most of my friends because I don't have the energy to fake happiness anymore and I don't want to bring them down with my constant miserable nature. My partner gets angry when ever I tell him how I am really feeling so I just say im ok..he lives overseas so it is easy to pretend.