Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Hi Peoples. I've actually stuck my head out of the social-chatty parts of the forum. Due to being really tired out today. Particularly today. I'm having a bit of a do-nothing.

I've found lately that I don't have the capacity for coping with stress, sadly including "good stress". You know how when you get a good day's work in there should be a kind of tired euphoria from the sense of achievement? I've found lately that that's vanished and instead I go to bed feeling strung out as if I've been in a crisis.

Yesterday was a mix of both- family member's minor MI crisis plus trying to get some preserving done (which I do usually enjoy). So I got to bed late and slept badly. I'm still in a bit of a knot, and finding myself easily "pushed overboard". Plus there's a lot of general background stress going on otherwise.

I've decided tonight's dinner is going to be a "keep it simple" option. Methinks a container of homemade soup that's sitting in the freezer will do the trick, and maybe we can also watch a funny movie.

Hello @Former-Member

@Former-Member this thread may help you

hi @Smc @CherryBomb @outlander @Shaz51 @Grasshopper3, I simply cannot believe that tonight I have found this thread ! I made a list earlier on who are my support contacts. I am most def at stage 3 burn out, 😞 I cannot seem to function at all. I have one support person that I can tell all to, my mum who is 94. My friends have left after me putting off so many outings, parties etc. They are still out there but it is so difficult to call or drop in and spill a whole lot of negative stuff to someone who may have been having a good day until I turned up. So mostly I keep it to myself and sometimes have a vent on here. Have to try again tomorrow.

@Maddison

Maddison wrote:

I think part of the exhaustion comes from the position of helplessness I find myself....when I want so badly to provide care, and my absolute best efforts are simply not enough. As difficult as it is to accept that someone you care about is very ill( either physically or mentally), it's the acceptance that sometimes the greatest compassion I have to offer, is simply not enough...thus I feel hopeless, helpless, exhaustion, defeated. It is harder to put into words. I guess I am saying, that sometimes I wish I had better strategies or education in how to deal with situations.

@Shaz51, @Former-Member, @Mohill, @patientpatient,

Here I was, thinking the double dose depot plus the wavers would help my son... he now sleeps from 10pm till 12, 1, 2pm in the afternoon.

Still has got no energy to start anything. He forces himself to go for a daily walk with me.

He says the increase in meds hasnt helped his mind, but he likes sleeping, he says he can't wait till 6pm when he takes his next waver.

I asked him yesterday, hey, I know there are a lot of people in the same boat as you, but there is always hope, things will get better. Do you hope this too? He shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno..."

I stared in front of me and I just wanted to cry.... He said what are you thinking off?

I wanted to tell him what Maddi wrote, see above, but I asked him this:

What is the reason you get out of bed? He said, "my smoke and my coffee"

I said I was hoping the medication would have given you some of your old energy back (unmedicated he is a ball of energy....has ADHD too)

He said nah. I said the Psych has been talking about chsnging your meds from depot to oral meds, He seems to think that miight benefit you. Would you be willing to give this a try?

Again shrugged his shoulders.

I am exhaused ot trying... going back to work after a looong weekend at home with him.

Oh I did go out to the shops, even had a lovely massage... but I used to be so much more outgoing and I really dont want to even speak or see anyone at the moment. All I have inside me is desparation, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, what have I become, I just dont know what to say to him anymore.

I just turn on some music and keep busy around the house, but I am not happy, as he is not happy

He has initiated to work with an organisation but the girl introduced herself last week after a 2 week wait, and is going on holidays for a week. There is only 2 more weeks and I will drag ourselves to the airport to sit in an airplane for 24 hrs travel... I better get some Nicotine patches for him.

It will probably the last time i get to see my mum, my sweet mum, battling with Parkinsons on the other side of the world. She is now refusing some of her medication making it really hard on my dad caring for her at home. I need to be with them but can only take 3 weeks off, and cannot leave my son at home alone.

not happy jan... what have I become? Living an extraordinary life like so many other carers.

I told my son if we come back from this trip, we start saving up to see his sister, who lives country QLD.

Better get ready for work, taking the car so I can drive home in my lunchbreak to see how son is going and to keep him company for a half an hour to break his day.

Compassion fatigue yep yep yep

@Grasshopper3 I hear you loud and clear. I feel that same exshaution. Keep trying with a med change for him. The one he is on is definetly not helping the depression. Hoping you can get some respite and peace

good morning @JoJo99, @CherryBomb, @Grasshopper3, @outlander, @Smc

Compassion fatigue yep yep yep --- that`s me

@Grasshopper3 I hear you loud and clear. I feel that same exshaution., mine is trying to find the right balance

Hello @Former-Member, how is your husband today after yesterday`s panic attack , am thinking of you and if your husband has any quesions , please ask us