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Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

While caring for others usually comes from a place of compassion, over long periods of time, it can lead to compassion fatigue - feeling tired, angry and powerless, and sometimes going into dissaosciative states. A lot of stuff out there, like this article talks about how health professionals can experience a range of different symptoms. But compassion fatigue is not restricted to carers - they usually don't have a personal connection nor do they live the people they care for like many on us here.

One of our forum members, Jo, talks about disassocation here, she describes it as "a state that one can slip into when the stress and burn-out becomes too much. You go into 'automatic', carrying out everything you have to do and what's expected of you, but it's as if you're in a sort of dream state.' Has anyone experienced this? Or are you feeling burnt-out?"

This article explains that compassion fatigue can commonly occur due to "other-directed care giving" in which people "were taught at an early age to care for the needs of others before caring for their own needs."

@Cazzie @Former-Member @BeHappy @Snoo @Louise last week we spoke about feeling tired. I'm wondering what are people thoughts on this? Do you agree that there are patterns in your life that have taught you to put other people's needs before your own?

@countrymum you have spoken about the difficulties of caring for your son too much with the heart. Looking back is compassion fatigue something you can relate to?

@maddison you're currently caring for your housemate, any thoughts on this?

Looking forward to hearing people's thoughts on this,

CB

106 replies

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In response to: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

They are both great posts @Shaz51

Wow "lateness" as a sign of compassion fatigue. Makes sense to me. Not being able to leave chores or children at home to get away early to ensure being on time.

In response to: Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

same here @Appleblossom, but with no children here, all grown up now xx

In response to: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Thanks for this @Shaz51, lots of MI in my family, me included, i've been spending more time with frail but difficult unwell parents and troubled siblings lately - sure taking its toll on me. Better start taking better care of myself - how do we do that again lol. Thanks for the reminder. Guess i'm lucky i live alone in that regard. Hope you are having a fair day today. Hi Appleblossom

In response to: Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Sounds like you have had your hands full. @Former-Member

@Shaz51 posts about compassion fatigue are spot on

dont you think?

In response to: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

just found this online today...

FIVE PATHWAYS FOR HEALING OR PREVENTING COMPASSION FATIGUE:
1. Consider how you replenish your mind, body, heart and spirit
How do you nourish your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health on a daily basis? As helpers, we are the tools of our trade – our energy, vitality, attitude, optimism and more all contribute to our success and capacity within our work. We have to be healthy to do our best work, and to do this work in ways that are sustainable and enriching over time. We must practice what we preach and ensure that our own restorative self-care is a top priority in order to prevent compassion fatigue.

How do YOU fill your own emotional cup?

2. Access and nurture support
Emotional support, peer support and supervision are all helpful when it comes to mitigating the risk of compassion fatigue. In fact, social support is one of the key predictors of whether or not a professional will suffer or stay well (Fisher, P. & Abrahamson, K., 2002). We need one another to stay strong, resilient and healthy as helpers. We are not meant to do this alone or in isolation. How we care for one another matters too!

Who are your sources of meaningful emotional support?

3. Stay connected to meaning
Research shows that the more we stay connected to the hope, joys, rewards and sense of purpose and meaning within our work as helping professionals, healers and change agents, the more we mitigate the risk for burnout and compassion fatigue.

What brings you joy as a helper?
What are your sources of “compassion satisfaction”?

4. Engage in reflective practice
Mindfulness, reflective practice and journaling (Monk, 2009) are all proven ways to mitigate the risk for compassion fatigue. The more self-aware, grounded, centered and present in the moment we are, the more attuned to our own needs we become. Listening within is at the heart of well-being and renewal for helpers.

How do you engage in reflective practice?
How do you increase your self-awareness?

5. Be kind to yourself
Treat yourself with the same care, compassion and concern that you treat others, including your clients and those you serve. We can be hard on ourselves as helpers. Yet self-compassion is the path to having true compassion for others.

In what ways are you kind and compassionate with yourself?

We do not have to reduce compassion or turn away from caring in order to prevent compassion fatigue. Rather, in the presence of deep self-compassion, in the form of self-care and personal renewal, all other caring can flow.

Compassion, defined as a deep caring for another and wanting to connect and help another, is a precious aspect of our human nature and a core value and ethical imperative within any helping profession. Ultimately, to stay well, when it comes to self-care and caring for others, we can ask ourselves: “What is the most compassionate thing to do here?”

I have grown to believe, and I recognize that it is a paradox of sorts, that compassion is in fact the balm that heals and prevents compassion fatigue. Compassion, in other words, is what heals us all.

http://blog.ctrinstitute.com/compassion-fatigue/

In response to: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Hi @BeHappy@CherryBomb are you still using this forum? Your situation sounds so similar to mine. I would love a chat to see how you are and if you are still in a carers role. I can't ever seem to break out of mine. Love to hear from you.

Jo

In response to: Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

We sure are using this thread @JoJo99 xx

I get compassion fatigue all the time

Good morning @CherryBomb, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @aristosane, @BeHappy xxx

In response to: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

I am exhausted too I need sleeeep 😞

In response to: Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

hello @Grasshopper3, how are you today ?? hope you are ok

In response to: Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

Re: Compassion fatigue: When caring hurts too much

My son will get double the amount of meds plus a waver to put under his tongue at night.
He has been asleep since 9pm, its pure bliss. Talk laterxx
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