Enter a subject?

@tyme most of the support workers are regular at my house. I don't really like the one that was on shift yesterday. It's hard to communicate with him.

I try talking to my coordinator about the ones I can't talk to but the company doesn't really do anything. I gave up complaining anymore.

Is there possibility you move to another place/company? @The-red-centaur It doesn't sound fair that you are not being heard. It can really affect your recovery.

@The-red-centaur Okay, I just hope that you can find some self-talk that can help you avoid some of the more destructive coping strategies. What about song lyrics? Good advice that you've applied in the past? Where do you find your voice most accurately represented? To the point that you could just tell a support worker to listen to a song or read a poem instead of having to keep explaining to people? (which I often find really detrimental having to rehash painful feelings/situations when someone else has already said it or sung it so well). Although in my most intense pain I didn't listen to music for two weeks in case it manipulated my emotions too dramatically. So maybe you're more there. But I am tempted to ask you for a playlist 🙂

The fullness of my being - Being as an Ocean

This is a single I'm obsessed with at the moment @BossBaby

I really like my melodic metalcore. A lot of the music I'm into is heavy and emotional with a good meaning behind it. I find it's stuff I can relate to and they express a lot of the things I can't verbalise.

@tyme a lot of the troubles I'm having is related to my housemate in regards to where I am living. Bit I can't get another housemate. A lot of the support workers at mu house are a food fit for him so they don't want to move the support workers.

I'm due for a new ndis plan soon so hopefully some things can change with that.

So it's just the 2 of you in the house? @The-red-centaur

I hope things get better for you when you get your NDIS plan review. You deserve it. You've been through a lot and I can see you have made so much growth over the years, but it doesn't mean it's easy.

We are sitting with you.

@The-red-centaur I felt those lyrics were really balanced and I guess that's the whole point, it's the fullness of being, all of it recognised and put in its proper place. Yeah, I guess when you want to embrace the fullness of being, which is a deep spiritual/philosophical/metaphysical concept and lots of online literature on it, each emotion and experience finds its proper place, without crowding, to avoid being overcome by that sense of war/harm/torture against ourselves. And more practically, in your housing situation, I hope there will be less friction and more sense of room for you and your needs. Feel free to send any more music any time that helps you verbalise and sends all those internal thoughts out into an orbit that can be better managed.

@tyme yeh its just the two of us. I'm not very compatible with him. He is nearly the opposite of me.

Last night he refused to come home from an outing. The staff got really stressed about it and don't know what to do.

@BossBaby thanks. I'm learning to embrace the different parts of myself.

@The-red-centaur really rough time for you today, I'm sorry to hear it. And missing a psych appt really sucks, will you have to wait long for the next one?

What are you doing with yourself this evening hun?

@Jynx I just spoke to my psychologist, I'm seeing her next Monday.

I'm off to a card group at the library this afternoon. Then bed early.