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I don't have a cool title for this.

I an tired and sick of myself.

So what do I do...I make it worse.

I was upset when I got home late last night. Instead of doing what I should have and just go to bed, I hurt myself and end up in hospital. Making the situation worse.

I feel like all my carers hate me. That they are tired of me and my risk to self. My carer is angry at me about the incidents of early hours of the morning. So many carers have quit because of me over the years.

That's not even my problem. I feel frustrated at myself that I am not recovering. And in the 15 years I'm battling self harm and suicide that the world doesn't trust me and my friends family carers dint trust me. I am not supposed to be left alone.

I thought pursuing my dreams and therapy would change my thoughts and behaviours. But I feel so messed and broken. Do I even deserve to pursue it all and even life anymore.

I'm getting so physically sick all the time because of my self harm. I'm just a drain on society. I should just quit.