@Former-Member - Love in action in my life experience simply is the giving or helping others without a motive. Unconditionally without judgment. The inner peace derived sustains. No pay off from someone else needed or sought as the nature of true love itself is selfless. And like attracts like. So those who also know how to love will respond positively. Those who are mostly self-centred won't as they are not givers.
Those who hurt in return chose not to love which is out of our control, but our choice to do so isnt. Neither is our reaction. All personal choices as we have free will. Rightful Indignation resulting when a wrong has occurred and has wounded is also love in action; as it seeks to protect oneself or others by attempting to make a wrong right (justice), by the right avenues (not going down to the offenders level). It protects (puts dangerous offenders in jail etc). So if a salesman rips us off or we have have been personally violated in any form - we have rights my friend. Love does not endure abuse in any shape or form. It does not sanction it or feel compassion for a harmful act that "leaves mental scars" on the victims. That's misplaced compassion. It seeks rightful justice to be rid of harmful actions from society as its destroys what is good. Tough love then comes into being. It's a battle.
The problem is today too much of what harms is seen as okay and allowed. And mental scars/illness will rise as a result. No matter how modern a society deems itself by its own self proclaimed ideals - the truth is the truth and what is wrong always will hurt. Values are declining.....
People can forgive their offender - that is letting the anger and hate go so it does not take their goodness and peace liberating themselves. That is not saying the harm done is okay and the offenders do not have to face the consequences of their actions. We all face those consequences eventually. I would only feel compassion for those whom harmed if they were truly remorseful and genuinely seek to change. In other words if they want genuinely to be forgiven or not. We can't offer forgiveness to those who don't want it and are quite happy in keeping up with harmful acts. That is quite a misconception of what love is. It isn't soft minded. It's logical, fair and just.
But I will always let go of any hate (even self hate), revenge, bitterness and rage etc that seeks to take my goodness and peace. The offender wins that way as that destroys a person taking their innocence/goodness/integrity. Without that a person is empty. That is why it's never a win situation to go down to the offenders level - that's what they want. I have learnt that. And that's when we move from being a victim to perpetrator. As we all have been victims to some degree. All can state that - even the worse offenders. So it's no excuse to harm.
Seeking rightful justice is acting in the welfare of self and others which is love. Turning a blind eye with excuses is supporting the harmful action.
But it is inevitable that mental scars occur for the victim that they may nevertheless be free of completely but have to learn to carry and cope with in a positive way so they can move forward. I have personally experienced that. My compassion always lies with the victim foremost and upmost. The other can learn from the sting of consequences.
Feeling compassion for those who enjoy hurting others whom are unremorseful??? No fear - that would be saying their harmful actions are okay and that is not love - that's foolishness as it's leaving open another chance to do harm. That would be feeding bad behaviour to become monsterous and further harm would result. Love is wise and justice is part of it; common sense prevails. Lock them up where they can hurt no one and throw away the key. Or call out the bad behaviour demanding respect. That's love in action, stopping the harm in its tracks - it is also called consequences for actions.
Love in action is not hard for some but can be harder for others whom seek self or have never experienced it themselves and dont know any better or what it is. That's where role models are invaluable. We are all different, in different circumstances and at different stages of growth. And it depends how much we want love or if we have the insight to know it to nurture the values to obtain it. We all have been selfish at some stage as that is human nature and that struggle can make it difficult. Also difficult when we are have been traumatised and our spirits are dampened or trust becomes an issue (been there).
With the latter it then comes down to the choice of whether to allow this to take the good out of oneselves, to take our peace, our life or not. Or fight through that dark phase wanting better by being better. And that can incurr very different individual circumstances. Nothing is black or white except "that love is what it is and lovelessness is what it is". Truth never changes.
But when we choose to move beyond that selfishness is when inner growth occurs and inner peace begins. We all can have different reasons for that - wanting to give back, protecting another/s or because we feel deeply about a cause that we give just to seek the welfare of those involved (refugees, climate change, animal rights - that's the end result and payoff they desire which is selfless); to have purpose and meaning or the big one - through empathy and compassion (the latter being a higher love which can only be created through suffering - being able to relate to ones pain). That's been my life experience and that is all I can speak from.
You are right - a higher peaceful loving state is never easy to obtain especially when others/powerful organisations who do not have the same values seek to harm (been there, look at Ann Franks diary, she never lost her sense of self, faith or goodness); it takes "self sacrifice" to reach it; and the easy way out, the easy road, which so many look for including myself at times in my life, will never reach it. They will just go around and around coming back to the same emptiness.
When negative emotions get in the way such as anger, revenge, fear, low self esteem, selfishness, greed, indifference, ongoing grief, depression, grudges, envy, jealousy hate, doubt, guilt, bitterness, distrust, self indulgence, power etc that prevents true love in action we have to work through them. And that's an individual choice from their free will to So or not. Programming the mind to me can be a form of brainwashing that seeks to control and override free will. Love doesn't work like that. But we can "will love" (do the right thing even though "we don't feel like doing it, but do so because it's right). Then there is no regrets. But to me love only means something and is genuine and real when given freely from the heart in my experience. That's why I believe we have free will - we choose who we want to be and that defines our destiny.
We are all very individual and we are all at different stages of that growth. But until we do work on these growth inhibitors that's when we can get stuck "or lost" as until we do growth gets stunted; we get stuck, can't move forward and can feel empty/troubled.
Yes, it is something that comes with inner growth overtime and how fast we grow does depend on the insight and values we have that will guide our choices and actions along our journey. If we are strong in ourselves and values no circumstance will override that as if it does they were never heartfelt and sincere in the first place. Hence putting love to the test.
Thank you for the interesting discussion 💕
(one of my relatives has cancer... but I am in no way an expert on it.)
