Church Matters (no mockers please)

I would not be so sure that "the problem" is in you @Former-Member. Maybe its your spiritual journey and they have been an important part of that journey. And Yes if you are contributing financially as well as all the other moral support, beverages, company and nursing wisdom ways .. they are more at fault ..

I am ambivalent about my church too. But pretty sure the problem is actually in my church too .. to the point that there was an Age article doing an expose .. on the particular one..

Because I have done a lot of the group dynamics studies .. I know what @Sahara means .. its not about it being personal to you .. its systems .. and economies in matter and behaviour .. you are right its the way group's often "do business"... hearts are of a different order ..

I am used to compromise .. I have not been as lucky as @Kurra and in the past I have never felt that I should expect anyone or group .. not family .. not church .. to accept me as I was.

Actually .. the closest a group has done that was here at Sane .. where I just let rip .. no holds barred.

Its lovely .. and slowly .. warming the cockles of my heart .. that I am still accepted ..

after all these posts.

keep taking stock .. keep taking steps .. little steps .. sniffing the breeze .. so you can teel which way is right for you.

I always knew I had a heart .. but I never could talk about what was actually in my heart .. totally stumped when a lovely ladyfriend writer told me to write what was in my heart ... somehow found safety in cooler more analytical styles, but always dedicated to "trouble-shooting" the problems of my heart..

Now I know I have a big heart .. with all sorts of passions and feelings .. I still need the cooler part of me for balance .. your inner dynamic is probably different .. I am ok with Vive La Differance I so like the honesty we have in our discussions.

I was reading about Murray Bowen's "Differentiation of Self" .. and try to find ways to bridge gaps ..

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@Kurra wrote:
Hi @Former-Member
My God is a loving god. He doesn't judge me or love me according to how often I go to church. He accepts me as I am.
My friends from church accept me as I am and love me as one of the fold unconditionally.
My belief is that the ways in which I live my life, the ways I help other people without any expectation of any reward or brownie points in the after life.
I honour my god through my life and the caring and sharing, the compassion I give to all peoples regardles of their personal beliefs, nationality, the colour of their skin or their specific religious philosophy.
Conditional acceptance and 'love' are not and never will be a part of my philosophy of life.
Hugzzz 💕 🎶

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Ditto! You are one special lady Kurra. I am not usually sentimental but your post - straight from the heart - brought tears to my eyes. I could not have put it better. Have a very joyful Christmas my friend 💕

hello @Former-Member

I have read your posts and others responses.

My intuition, inner sense is telling me that you have grown within yourself, grown from life lessons, you have demonstrated your love and compassion on here so many times. I know that I am repeating myself, but I feel that you need to hear it again and again. Belief in yourself. {yes I am doing the same}.

I feel that you have outgrown the "church" and some of the people who are in that "church" seem to have lost the true meaning of faith, love, compassion.

Perhaps this VC cannot cope with the new tawney, the strong, resilient tawney.

Often when people are drawn to church groups they are at a vulnerable stage in their life. Other members are there for them and offer support.

Some of these other members are only able to be supportive, friendly when someone is in a vulnerable state. They have their own insecurities that they have not faced and grown themselves and feel confronted or even threatened by someone else who has shown that they can face and grow stronger in the face of adversity.

I do not mean to label or insult anyone who attends a church as their are so many lovely people, my own relatives were very devout followers. I often think about attending myself but the last few times over the years have spent the whole sessions non stop crying. very embarrassing as all these strangers rush to console.

As in any group there are always those who dont like change.

Start a new one if you want to continue. A project for Tawney.

big hug xxxx

Hello @Former-Member

sometimes new doors open to us while other doors close

It happened to us , we were going every week and to bible study until the Lord opened up another door for us and especially to my hubby to help others

and I sure this door opening is for my Husband and your Recovery my friend xx

also how do you feel, does it feel right that you are helping in your community

we still go now and then , but they keep ringing us and telling us to become members and to come back every week , But the Bible doesn`t tell you that you have to go every week

and how about the people that can`t get to church because it is too far away

Hi @Former-Member

Haven't had a chance to really catch up with you the last few days - sh*t going on - taking up all my head space! How have you been?