Its All Come To A Head

Hi @Tryinghardto, does it help to talk about the intrusive thoughts? I'm never sure whether that helps to release them or make them stronger. What works for you?

Dear Tryinghardto,

I hope that by now you have found a clinical psychologist nearby who can help. Even if no-one can take you on as a permanent patient, maybe someone can take you on as an emergency on a temporary basis until a permanent person becomes available. There is no harm is stressing how desperate you are - there must be someone there who can help, so if all else fails go back to your GP again and get him/her to ring someone for you. A mental emergency is no different from a physical emergency. Sometimes you have to make a bit of a fuss to get what you need,but its the squeaky wheel which gets the oil.

We will look forward to hearing back from you. In the meantime, if things get too much ring the helpline to talk to someone. We are here for you.

Ellu

Dear @Tryinghardto,

It sounds like you have had such an awful time with these people, but what a wonderful friend you have to make a great recommendation and support you though this. I agree with the mental health nurse that you spoke to at the hospital, it's time to move on from this chapter in your life. You're not getting what you need as a partner and as a good person. I know it feels like the whole world is coming down around you, but believe me, WHEN you break free from him, your life will be so much better, and it will be yours.

@Former-Member had a great suggestion too: concentrate on yourself. Do what you like to do, reconnect with who you are before these people took over your life. This is your time now, to concentrate on yourself. Read some great books, watch some great movies, spend time with people who understand you and are worthy of you, like your wonderful friend who gave you support when you broke down. They are the people that are worth it, as you are worth it.

Believe me, you will get through this. Sending great thoughts and strength your way xxoo

Hi Tryinghardto, I cried reading your post and I am so glad that you are getting treatment.

The reason I registered this morning is beause my boyfriend treats me exactly the same way yours treats you and then repeatedley adds insult upon insult upon insult until I'm in a heap on the floor balling my eyes out begging him to stop, he only stops when I lock myself in another room refuse to talk to him.

I also do not know what to do about the situation.

I have asked him to attend a couples counsellor to discuss our 'communication difficulties' he point blank refuses to go I think because he's afraid.

You are not alone, your feelings and emotions about being unfairly treated (abused) are perfectly valid because you are being unfairly treated (abused). I understand how difficult to rationalise with yourself why (lots deleted). You are a loving caring wonderful person I know this because I am also.

Thank you for helping me today, it's taken me 6 hours to write this because I can't stop crying. I'll be going to the hospital tomorrow just as you did. Please look after yourself and always be assured that whats left of my love and every hopeful and caring thought I have is always yours and no one can take that from you.

Hi @AnonAnt.

It's great you found a connection here. Welcome to the forum. I have a little experience in this situation as well. I'm really glad you got to post after 6hours. I remember feeling that sense of relief when someone else was experiencing similar things.

I am really unsure about writing this because I really want you to seek help but I wanted to give you a heads up about going to a hospital as your first port of call. Hospitals can vary in their ability to deal with you depending on a variety of situations eg private vs public, how big and busy the hospital is, the staff, how busy it is on a given day, how distressed you present on the day etc. I have had a variety of experiences with this. I'm wondering if you have tried talking to your GP or a psychologist or psychiatrist. Personally for me the best person I had to work through some of these issues was a psychologist. I was being controlled by my ex for a stage. Through working with a psychologist I came to understand the dynamics involved. However I was so very pleased to read that @Tryinghardto received really good caring help from the mental health nurse in hospital that day.

I'm not sure if you know but you can receive up to 10 Medicare rebated visits to a psychologist a year if you see your GP for a mental health care plan.

Im glad that you have connected on the forum and I hope you find the help that you need to work out your very difficult and distressing relationship. Please keep posting here if it helps. Best of luck 💜🤗

Hi @AnonAnt and @Former-Member.

So glad you joined us AnonANt and thank you for all your help and advice Teej. I have found this forum so very helpful. It really does help to know that other people are going through very similar situations as we are. This forum has been a blessing and literally a lifesaver for me . AnonAnt do you want to talk about things. I would be more then happy to listen and help you if I can. Teej you have been so great to me and others here, You really are brilliant . I found Christmas ok. Boxing Day a little harder. We live on a country property. I was feeling a little down so thought some outside time would be good, I go outside with a pitchforky thingo and a weelbarrow and clean up horse poo. We grow that out here ...lol..

Someone up the road has a party and I can clearly hear the music. Its ok for a bit. Then I recognise a song. Its the Pretenders with "I'll Stand By You". I love this song. But I burst into tears and sobbed and cried for a while. I thought I had always been there for my "partner" for five years never ever letting him down in that way. Yet I Can't remember a time when he did that for me. I cried over what I thought was a waste of five years and felt a little sorry for myself. Then calmed down and watched a dvd series .

As John Denver said " Some days are diamonds.....some days are stones".

Hang in there

Hi @AnonAnt . Just checking in to see how you are going? Any updates. Have been thinking of the loving kind words you gave to me and also @Former-Member who has been a great help to me. Hoping you guys are ok.

xxxx

Hi @Tryinghardto,

how are you going? Has it been a difficult week for you? I've had a huge roller coaster. Hopefully it will ease a bit now.

Hi @Former-Member. . It has been a bit of a rollercoaster this week. I think maybe because of Christmas, and The New Year..and then I turned 50 on December 28th and my friend held a party

on the 30th.

Hopefully now things can settle down a bit. Have heard from the ex. He says everything from the past few weeks is blurry and he thinks I waled out on him. Say he doesnt remember much. IF this is true, why has it taken three weeks for him to phone.

He said he was "scared". Oh boy....does he have a lot to learn....try living in our shoes...lol... I am here if you would like to share.