Who do you turn to when you need help?

You see I bottle everything up. I don't turn to family. I figure they have enough of their own worries. So then I get anxious and very agitated, because all this stuff is stuck in my head.Sometime I turn to beyond blue or lifeline on line chat. I cant talk to an actual person.Fear of criticism fear of not being understood of not being heard.Fear of being let down.Its a silent cry for help, and the truth of the matter is no one hears a silent cry for help. I feel like a little child who is being ignored when they've been hurt. But I also feel at the same time that Im attention seeking.and I should go away.

I have a good psychologist, but she is now away untill February. Psychiatrist not worth seeing at this point.

G.P saw him today, but wasn't that open with him even though it was to update my mental health plan.

Writing sometimes helps, but sometimes its scary to have it written down, it makes it real. So who to turn to when I need help?