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Who do you turn to when you need help?

ChrisSenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 2:45 pm AEDT

Who do you turn to when you need help?

You see I bottle everything up. I don't turn to family. I figure they have enough of their own worries. So then I get anxious and very agitated, because all this stuff is stuck in my head.Sometime I turn to beyond blue or lifeline on line chat. I cant talk to an actual person.Fear of criticism fear of not being understood of not being heard.Fear of being let down.Its a silent cry for help, and the truth of the matter is no one hears a silent cry for help. I feel like a little child who is being ignored when they've been hurt. But I also feel at the same time that Im attention seeking.and I should go away.

I have a good psychologist, but she is now away untill February. Psychiatrist not worth seeing at this point.

G.P saw him today, but wasn't that open with him even though it was to update my mental health plan.

Writing sometimes helps, but sometimes its scary to have it written down, it makes it real. So who to turn to when I need help?

26 replies

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In response to: Who do you turn to when you need help?

katoSenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 4:30 pm AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

hey @Chris

i often find myself asking the same question, if you were to meet my mum, dad and my two elder sisters and me, you would find a very closed off private family, who doesn't discuss, what is wrong in their lives, this family dynamic is what i grew up with, it is how i am in my 30's now, i am so closed off and private about my life, to those who know me in person they wouldn't suspect there is anything wrong with me, i have created the master mask of fun loving, good times guy with no issues no problems and the world at his feet.

With time i have realised i need to be more open about how i really am, my g.p who i have been seeing weekly for the last nearly 3 months, i have been more open with, my psychologist, well it depends on the day.... but without thinking without even trying my fake being ok is always up, with talking with my g.p we are leaning towards bipolar with a side order of bpd..... and of course the fun of generalised anxiety with depression.

Who do i turn to......... I often find myself, reading through this forum, reading different aspects of different posts, seeing what has helped others, what someone else is trying, and when i need to i blurt my thoughts into a post, i find being anonymous and being able to just write my thoughts down very helpful. I have a diary/journal that when i am not up for writing here, i write it in that, yes it makes it real, but i find myself writing and then i pause re-read and then question what i have written, it is amazing what my brain comes up with in response to the emotional side, my psychologist has also got me doing creative worry time..... i really struggle with that, but i write down negative worry thoughts, a positive turn on them and then go for a walk for 20mins, and then write how i am feeling........ i have no idea if i am doing it right but it seems to be sorta helping.

when i get really low, i reach out anonymously to help line, online chat things, more the online chat things, i don't enjoy talking to someone but typing is easier,

i don't know if any of this will help, but you never know

thank you

In response to: Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

ChrisSenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 6:14 pm AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

Hey Kato, im with you on typing rather than talking. I find I can be more open, talk about how I feel.The two way silent conversation, puts me at ease knowing someone is listening, and someone cares enough to listen..I know there no magical answer, and what works today, may not work tomorrow for me. So its just take it one day at a time.

In response to: Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

LoopySenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 9:55 pm AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

Chris, wise words, one day at a time but don't be disappointed if it two steps forward and one back, because sooner or later it will be three to the front and one to the rear then you will know that you are gaining the upper hand. Best wishes and "may the wind be always at your back".

loopy

In response to: Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

RickSenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 10:09 pm AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

Kato and Chris,
I feel what you mean.
I rely on me. Otherwise it's the danger of contaminating someone else with this crap. Not rational perhaps but it's what I feel.
When I stumbled upon this joint, I discovered that writing and reading and being read and responded to is a balm that I never knew existed. It does help.
I can't talk to help lines because I already know they can't help. I don't want to hear them say it.
So I have starting coming here. Just to interact and also the chance to change my focus from intensely ME to what others are doing.
Distraction therapy maybe. but I don't question the good anymore I just say thanks and make mine a double.

Hope I think may endure ...........given time

Rick

In response to: Who do you turn to when you need help?

kristinSenior Contributor12 Dec 2014, 10:27 pm AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

Hi Chris,

I really feel for you with your trusted psych away until Feb. I used to find that quite horrendous to be honest. Christmas Day is a trigger for me (not that I knew that before 5 years ago), and now bushfire season is too (since 2009). So getting through the long school holidays with kids would have me climbing the walls, and even at work pre-kids.

To be honest I don't find it nearly so difficult as I used to. Having said that though I recently had a 3 week gap bewtween appointments with my psych (combination of her being at a conference and me making a mistake and double booking myself) who I usually see weekly. By the time I did get to see her I was starting to struggle with getting a bit manic again, and I realised that I am not even quite ready to go back to fortnightly sessions. Thankfully she's not taking a long break these holidays, because 6 weeks or so would yawn on too long.

Take care through this time. We are here and you are welcome. Unfortunately not such long hours, although I believe SANE are looking at extending the hours in the New Year (am I right @NikNik ?).

If you need to cry for help then please do so. It is not attention-seeking to be hurting and want help to hold that and get through it, and by no means do we want you to go away.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Who do you turn to when you need help?

peaceSenior Contributor13 Dec 2014, 2:10 am AEDT

Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

Yes guy's all very wise actions for seeking some support when it is desperately needed. I did not know that there is on line chat for help. I have used the phone once or twice but feel too shy to really reach out that way. So you have given me some helpful ideas. Its amazing how just reading others post is supportive and helpful. And it truly lets me know that I am not alone in this world of being mentally different and searching for answers, comfort and hope.

In response to: Re: Who do you turn to when you need help?

ChrisSenior Contributor13 Dec 2014, 10:10 am AEDT