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Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Shaz51Senior Contributor10 Dec 2016, 11:56 am AEDT

Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @PeppiPatty, over here my special friend xx

Hello Everyone

Love to hear from others on the forum if you experience this

My hubby has been diagnosed with lots of things and has had MI all his life

do you find things goes ok and i start to feel confident and wanting to go forward and then everytime something always happens to upset it -- sometimes I think is it a controlling thing ?? that he wants to be in control ??

Don`t know if I am making this up , but i have that feeling ,

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In response to: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Shaz51Senior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 1:40 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Hello @Sophia1, @PeppiPatty, @Former-Member, @Owlunar, @Faith-and-Hope, @Determined, @Former-Member, @Adge, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Wenna

sending you all hugs for today

Today - it is ME

My cousin was up for a few days and everyday she went up to the hospital to give my mum legs and hands massages whih is lovely

went to mum`s for morning tea and she says she is missing the massages , I sai i will come and do them , ohh itis alright

she wants me to do things to help her but then she says no

if i go to do something she says leave that and have a cuppa with me

I have lots of different feelings going around -- it is crazy !!!

My SIL is looking afther MIL and just goes and does things -- ( maybe too much ) as MIL tells me all about her being treated like a child which shedoes not like but she won`t say anything

my mum is soo independent but she tells me want she wants help with but then she says no

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

AdgeSenior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 2:14 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

That sounds totally confusing for you @Shaz51 Very mixed messages - yes help, no don't.

Frustrating & disheartening.

Sorry, I haven't got much to say to help.

I feel like I've been thrown out with the garbage (into the garbage bin) today.

Adge

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 2:22 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

❤️ @Shaz51 ....

Hugs @Adge 💕

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember12 Aug 2018, 2:46 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

It ain't easy getting old @Shaz51 I think I would fiercely hold onto any independence I had too.

Doesn't make it easy though for the ones caring as our loved ones refuse help even when we clearly see them losing their skills and sometimes their marbles too.

I'll be first in the queue for a massage if one is on offer 😀

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

AdgeSenior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 4:05 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Did someone say massage?

Yes please (me too) @Former-Member

I'm sure that @Shaz51 would like one.

It's good that your cousin was able to give Mum massages - a shame that you couldn't have one too.

Speaking of marbles, I've already lost most of mine - I don't have to wait till I'm old.

Adge

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember12 Aug 2018, 4:53 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Just 4 U!

@Adge

Edited: I add 2 picture! 🙂

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

outlanderSenior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 4:58 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51 💕💕

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Sophia1Senior Contributor12 Aug 2018, 5:32 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

hello @Adge @Shaz51 @Former-Member

I think that a few of us could put our hands up re losing marbles...

how many are we supposed to have to begin with?

then of course there are all of the different colours and sizes...

I remember when they were the all the fad ...before the sports cards took off...

the marbles had names ...colours...sizes...my boys were into that....there friends would come over with theirs and then the swaps would happen...

independence yes...I think that I am going to be extremely difficult....I am independent enough now...

nice that your mum preferred you to share a cup of tea with you though Shaz...she values your company...

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember12 Aug 2018, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Haha, mothers can be confusing, and old people, I so relate @Shaz62, ambivalence personified! Its all part of surrendering control, ageing gracefully, accepting reality yet fiercely fighting against it to the end. We encourage them to but they can't do it all anymore. Its constantly changing for them. My mum was like this a year before she died, anfvit got worse. Its so hard. Maybe just do a few important high energy output jobs of priety for her each time. But be sure yo do the 1:1 cup of tea first. She's probably lonely.
Think you got more going on than me - Shaz, YIKES! its good for me to watch ways how to cope.
Hang in there xox

In response to: Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Unknown userMember13 Aug 2018, 9:36 am AEST

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

What a diffiuclt situation to be in @Shaz51 I hope there's some room in amongst it all for you to get some care and support too (maybe even some massages!) 🐰

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