Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Determined , that sounds like a good plan to seek some guidance from management about this , I am afraid to say I find it very hard to voice myself , I have a couple of times in my life -- I have said something and then stormed out of the room not knowing what was said afterwards

There are times when I have regretted not speaking out too @Determined

Thanks @Former-Member, one of the reasons I did not say something directly myself is that I was quite emotional about it and it may not have been overly objective or professional myself. Manager I spoke to was actually concerned was I ok as it was. I don't know why it affected me as much as it did but I was and still am really quite upset about what happened.

I am not so good at 'on the spot' thinking either @Former-Member, @Determined

this week is way out of sorts @Former-Member and I have a bladder infection now and am on ab`s

how are you , are you ok xx

Morning @Shaz51 , that's no good about the infection 😞

I'm feeling better this morning after yesterday's drama. I had an informal chat with the uni welfare officer this morning and sorted a few things out (re my own feelings and emotions). I will be having a meeting with a more senior member of student welfare tomorrow to discuss a formal complaint.

Stressing out about a presentation this afternoon, hoping I can get through it without coughing .

Hi @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Determined .....

Sorry to hear the infection is still a problem @Shaz51. My sinus infection has been responding to the antibiotics I was put on, but it seems to be rebounding, and I only have 2 doses of the AB left. Might need to go back to a dr. tomorrow and see whether I can have another round.

Scrolled back to find the incident you were referring to @Determined ..... It might be just as well that you didn’t speak up in the moment, because it sounds like it may have triggered a bun-fight that made it worse for the student being demeaned, when as a class group you still have to move forward together ..... and while that can sound outrageous, here is the rest of it ....

If you file a formal complaint, stating that you have also been impacted by the response of this belligerent group as you struggle daily with a family member affected by mental health issues, this is likely to have a more powerful effect, especially if the class group are then addressed in person by a member of staff who makes it clear that this behaviour is no acceptable and will not be tolerated, and that a formal complaint was filed.

Something that could have been done in the moment was to follow into the second classroom yourself and address the class member who was victimised, offering to sit with them and continuing to talk to them in a way that expressed interest and concern with what was happening and how they were feeling, offering a tissue if you had one along with the solidarity, and ignoring the person who was behaving inappropriately, without taking on their behaviour yourself.

The reason I say this is because the admonition coming from above can be more powerful this way, whereas if a bun-fight ensued, it may have escalated the sort of damaging things that were already being said, yet reducing the situation to the appearance of a “schoolyard brawl”, thereby diffusing the perpetrator’s behaviour.

The powers that be reprimanding that student will have a powerful effect on the others who followed, who are now tarred by association. Taking time to try to assess the situation and try to work out what to do “in hindsight” can be a safety valve. The authority within the situation needs to come from above.

Truly appalling. No wonder you are shaken. I would have been too.